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nature73 Asked August 2018

The AL my parents are in seems to be slipping - what else do I need to do?

My parents were in AL for 9 months. No complaints & loved the staff. But interactions with other residents were limited as many had cognitive deficits worse than my parents. So off to IL they went...BIG mistake! After 5 months, my 88-year-old mom had an exacerbation of a chronic condition & my 92-year-old dad couldn't take care of her. Back to the same AL. Staff excited to have them back 'cause they were well-liked. I had to add additional services for mom since her physical & mental abilities have declined.


Since then, parents have had nothing but problems, such as staff not showing up as scheduled to help her get ready for bed, not coming in a timely manner to help her to bathroom when she calls, not cleaning their apartment when scheduled, not doing their laundry, & not giving meds on time. Recently mom got no meds at all the whole day! I met with the director of nursing twice & left telephone messages that were not returned. I was told that these issues had been corrected, but as of 2 days ago my dad still has had to go looking for someone to help her. He's told they'll "be right there" but then never show up. It's seriously affecting his physical & mental health.


I've left messages for certain other staff members to contact me & they either did not get the message or just have not returned my calls.


I'm making an appointment to discuss with the newly-installed director. If no results, I'll go to their corporate leadership. I hate to do this, but I cannot have this - it's been going on for about 3 weeks. I sympathize with the staff since I also worked in healthcare & there are never enough staff. But I'm very frustrated & may lose my temper! I fear if that happens, my folks would be subject to retaliation.


For those out there with cooler heads, please recommendations how to express myself firmly, but not hysterically, in order to get these issues corrected. I'm bewildered at the sudden decline in quality of care.

nature73 Aug 2018
Thanks all who responded. I will definitely incorporate some of these suggestions when I speak to director.

BarbBrooklyn Aug 2018
Go into the meeting with dates and times of what you've witnessed and what dad has reported. . But DO listen to what they have to say.

Is your Dad a reliable reporter? Have you witnessed long delays, laundry not being done?

Ask how they plan to address the issues you've brought to their attention. Get species and set up a followup meeting to discuss how the new plan is working.

Does your mom need a higher level of care?

If you don't get a satisfactory response and better service, call the State Ombudsman.

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JoAnn29 Aug 2018
They are suppose to hire when the ratio goes up. You are paying more for the services. I blame the new director. He/she maybe putting extra responsibilities on staff or staff thinks they can get away with more with a new director. If you are paying, you deserve the service.

Ahmijoy Aug 2018
When you meet with the director, ask that the DON and any other staff you’ve spoken with be there as well. Don’t take no for an answer. Do what I do and practice what you will say in the shower. Seriously, if you know in advance what you will say, you’re not as likely to “lose it” when you’re actually face to face with the people from the facility. Bring a notebook with what you want to discuss written down. When you feel yourself becoming upset or tongue-tied, look down at the notes for a moment.

Your parents deserve good care. They aren’t getting it. Dad shouldn’t have to roam the building looking for help. Meds are crucial and if they aren’t getting them, they could become ill. If you don’t see a change immediately in their care, then go to Corporate.

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