That means I am getting her ready for bed and into bed at 11:30! She is up at 8 am and I take care of her off and on all day as needed. She is 88 yrs old, in a Wheelchair and needs help toileting, dressing, meal prep, medications, laundry etc. I do have help to bathe her 3 times a week. I feel she should go to bed at 9pm and let me complete my busy work day and have some alone time after that. She gets very annoyed when I suggest this. Most other elderly people I know either go to bed much earlier or don't get up that early. She does nap during the day in her lounge chair but no set shedule. Sometimes I nap because I get exhausted. Im 64. Any suggestions?
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If she’s used to being in bed at 11:30, 9PM might be a little too early at first. Try starting at 10. Be honest with her. I was with Hubby.
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Like children, adults (young and senior both), need structure and routine. I know it may sound dictatorial, but routine is important if you are to keep your sanity and it sets the expectations for your LO. Be sure to keep a night or two a week for yourself AWAY from the house (a self-date night)as well and if you have a caregiver or family member come in to stay with your LO, have them adhere to your routine and explain the importance.
Sending you well wishes, payers and a ton of cosmic support!
Now, with only one caregiver " on staff" ( and you can see why I'm in favor of nursing home care, perhaps), can there be compromise? Can mom be readied for bed and be put to bed but continue whatever activity she likes in bed? Reading, watching tv, knitting? Or is it that she craves company?
I share the care of my elderly quadriplegic dad with my sister, and even though he is easygoing and reasonable, it would be almost impossible to do everything myself. And even with two people caring for him he does wind up starting his day much later in the morning than I know he would prefer. Frankly we just need time in the morning to have coffee and get a few of our own things done before we can start the long day of taking care of him. (We do some basic things first thing like a glass of water, turning him to another position in the bed, opening the shades and turning on his beloved National Public Radio, etc., but don't start his meds, bed bath and breakfast until later.) I am so grateful that he seems to realize this and accept it.
I hope others have some good suggestions for you.