How do I comfort my mother as she is realizing that she is forgetting more things and becoming a bit more restricted in what she can do?

Good morning Sbrock, and thank you so much for your response. As it happens, I do use humor when Mom is feeling down, but this was different. It caught me completely off-guard and I was so unprepared for the rush of emotion. She is mobile, but has absolutely no interest in joining any groups, just prefers to be at home. We had to respect that. Her dearest friends have already passed away, and getting out to meet new people is not something she is interested in. She spends her time doing religious word search puzzles, she enjoys them and says that they help keep her mind working. I love the idea of using code words, though. I will try that. I want to do all I can to keep her dignity intact.

Thank you so much!

Good morning Eyerishlass...I love your name. Thank you for your very, very comforting words. This is all such new ground for me and I always worry that I may not be saying the right things or not reacting in a comforting or safe way for her. I always try to address her feelings so that I can try to understand those feelings and support her in whatever way she needs (I also keep my sister in the loop so that we are on the same page with Mom and her needs).

After I submitted my question, I went back to talk to her and I was surprised to see that she appeared to be fine. The spark was back in her eyes and she was smiling. A little background, prior to her upset we had been in the process of paying some of her bills and she got several of the payment slips mixed up with the wrong checks, she had written the wrong account numbers, and it took a bit to get everything back in order. As I was getting everything sorted out properly, she made mention of some things completely unrelated to the bills, but she had dates and facts wrong...she had forgotten some things. It is at this point when I was reminding her of the forgotten points, and she got upset and began to cry. She was so distraught and I tried to comfort her and let her know that she wasn't losing her mind (she said she thought she was), she was just getting older and that it was normal to sometimes get things a little jumbled or to forget things, and it was at this point that she said she felt so alone. I asked her what she meant when she said she felt alone, and she explained to me that it was because sometimes she couldn't find the right words to explain what or how she was feeling, and we couldn't really understand since we are not her age. She said she just got overwhelmed with everything that had transpired within the last hour (getting her bills mixed up & forgetting some things) and her frustration just boiled over. Basically, she said she just needed a good cry to get it all out. I love her so much, and I just hugged her and told her how much she means to me, and how precious I consider the time that I get to spend with her. I always want to preserve her dignity and let her know that we are with her on this journey and she will never be alone.

Thank you again, Eyerishlass...

Bless your heart, Ahmijoy, thank you for your warm response. I so appreciate your encouraging words. When I began this journey with my Mom, I made a vow to myself, to never pity her or respond to her in anger or frustration. I must admit, sometimes I have to leave the room for a couple of minutes to compose myself, and to remind myself that she is depending on me to support her in whatever way she needs. I love her so much, and I want her days on this path to be as loving, supportive and comfortable as I can. These days, I can't get her to go out much...she prefers to stay at home due to her circulation issues & she has a bit of COPD. My sister and I make a point of taking her out on Saturdays, and we make it special for her, taking her wherever she wants to go. We go do what she wants to do and then take her for dinner. She so looks forward to her Saturdays...it is so cute, when the weather is bad, she reminds me of a little girl, sad because she can't get out, so we just spend the whole day inside together, talking and laughing about whatever. I have to say, I look forward to Saturday too, because I get a kick out of seeing her look of wonder sometimes when we go someplace we've never been.

After I submitted my question on this forum, I went back to talk to her and she was fine. Basically, she just got overwhelmed with the realization that things were changing and her frustration boiled over. I remind her often of the many things that she can still do and how much we love her. We hugged it out & she told me that she knew that in spite of her issues, she was blessed. I came across "A Letter from a Mother to a Daughter" a few years ago, and I re-read it often to remind me of how things are for her, and to give me comfort that I am doing all I can for her.

Thank you so much, Ahmijoy for the hugs & I will definitely give Mom a big one! I wish you well and am sending prayers for you and your husband...