My wife (and I) are responsible for her 83 year old bedridden father. He is very lucid, but needs near-24/7 care. Currently, we are paying caregivers (not associated with any agency) at home. Too expensive, so looking for the best place for him or maybe a live-in individual.
That's the situation, but the bigger picture is there is SO MUCH to know between Medicare, Medicaid, insurance, finances, healthcare, etc. It seems we need to just research, study, continue to learn in our spare time. All, while finding out the many mistakes we've made, and are likely still making. And, each "expert" we talk to here is employed by an entity or facility that profits if we decide to use their service.
Is there such a thing as an industry expert we can sit down with, and pay them to assess his situation, and give guidance who does not work for a facility. Similar to a financial advisor who doesn't work for a financial services company?
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There is a lot of bias by the State. The "help" they give is not worth a tinker's damn (really never understood that saying). All the State is doing is providing you with a loan AND you have to pay down all of FIL's assets first. Then when FIL passes, the State gets their money back...paid in full.
Have you contacted A Place For Mom? They will give you a list of agencies that have been vetted, in your area.
INTERVIEW every single one and go into detail. If FIL takes meds, in-home-care uses certified staff and they cannot touch, administer any medications. A family member will need to do this or you'll need to pay extra for an LPN/RN at their hourly (even if they're there for 5 minutes) rate.
Medicare, depending on what part FIL signed up for, will provide up to 30 hrs a week.
Tall with FIL doctor, these are generally the agencies that work in various ways with the State or their programs are run with the same guidelines.
Does FIL have medical policy he maybe paying for when he retired?
Just because an Attorney list(s) as Family law, Estate, Financial planning....may not really have the interest other than money for them.
Rresearch, research, research. Call the ABA for your State regarding how much the firm actually does in Family law etc. I found an attorney by researching on my own, whose practice is over 75% elder law, majority of that is elder abuse financially and physically. I asked the paralegal who helped me court wise, her opinion regarding this attorney. Answer: the best for me and well known for her tenacity.
You can also check the nurses registry for nurses who adultsit and may do light housekeeping too.
Get guardianship/conservator so any debt, including his care costs are paid from his estate. Keep record of any out of pocket as his Estate pays you too either by hour (have to clock in/out) or at the end of FIL's time that is down by receipt record.
The State should have a website explaining all of this and what has to be done by the guardian/conservator/personal representative/all the ins/outside required.
Hope this helps.
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Every county has an Area Agency on Aging. Google that name and you will find the one in your area.
I belong to the Aging Life Care Association aginglifecare.org. You can look up agencies by state. These agencies are run by geriatric care managers who can provide the guidance you need. Most of us offer free initial consultations. I don’t partner with any providers and most geriatric care managers don’t.
IF you opt to hire privately you may get advice from the attorney or from a CPA as far as doing paperwork. Make sure you do a criminal background check. If you have any valuables you may want to make sure they are locked and safe. It's too easy for those looking for something to have access after gaining your trust. Which isn't to say it couldn't be the best option. Very hard to find good in-home people and of course you will need more than one for one is likely to need time off as well and not be on call 24/7.
Maybe one way to start would be to make a short-list of facilities in your area and tour three to five of them. Ask if the tour could include a meet-and-greet with their in-house advisors, so you can get a feel for them and do some useful comparisons.
We hired an Aging Life Care Specialist (Geriatric Care Manager). The one we chose is a social worker with over 30 years of experience. Some of them we interviewed were RNs. Find someone who knows the services and homes in your area very well and pay them by the hour. You might only need to pay for a few hours to get the information you need.
I was overwhelmed when we first started to help our elderly relatives. There are too many rules. Our care specialist has saved us a ton of money, time and saved us from distress. I highly recommend hiring one.
A Geriatric Case Manager could be another good source to help with navigating the land mines. These folks can help with both the Medicare/Medicaid stuff as well as the medical issues you might be facing.
All my best to you and your family. It is a difficult journey you are on and the best gift you can give to your Father.
There are smaller group homes that might work,
There obviously are the Nursing homes, some nice, some not so much.
Is her Dad a Vet? If so have you looked into the VA and what is available through them? And if he has any conditions that would be considered a "service connected disability" that might make things easier for you as he would qualify for other programs. The one I used for my Husband was VIP it is a program designed to keep Veterans in their homes and I was "given a budget" to work with and I could hire caregivers and they would be paid through that budget. If I was not married to my Husband I could have been paid through tat budget as well for my caregiver services but spouses can not be paid. As a Daughter or a SIL you could get paid.