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Tabby14 Asked September 2018

If I sold both of mom's condos and let her buy into my house what would happen if I couldn't care for her anymore?

My mom has two condos. One was destroyed by my younger brother after I removed my mom and brought her to my home. The Insurance botched the whole thing and said she only had 30K to cover it. It required over 30K to fix and they paid me 17K and gave the pack out guys 13K. I found out differently and that she had 65K. But can’t get Insurance to call back. I used about 7K to fix the other condo up to be sold. I just need to get them sold. Appraisal was 63K and 68K. But not anymore. If I took 104K for both, paid them off and took the remainder and let her buy into my house what would happen if she or I got so bad I can’t take care of her at all? She will never qualify for Medicaid she makes too much. But not enough for a decent place to live full time. I am financially and physically struggling myself and am scared to make a move. Desperately need advice.

rovana Sep 2018
Why on earth would you let your Mom entangle your finances? She sells the condos and all the money goes for her living expenses and care.  Do you really want her to live with you? I'd suggest looking for a senior apartment - you should be able to find something reasonable, unless maybe you are in a very expensive city. In that case, move to a cheaper area.   If too much monthly income, check into a Miller Trust for Medicaid purposes.  Please do not tie your lives together.

JoAnn29 Sep 2018
If you ever need Medicaid putting her on your deed could cause you a lot of problems. I wouldn't do it.

The condos have to be sold at market value. That money should be put in a bank account and only used for Moms care. Only you and Mom should be on the acct. Maybe set up where you are the only one who can touch it but it is Moms money. Maybe when that is done, you can find a nice AL. This will spend down her money. Some ALs, if you can private pay for 2 yrs, you maybe able to get Medicaid.

Makes too much? My Mom got a total of 1700 a month in SS and a small pension. I think the Medicaid limit is 2k or a little higher. Too much u maybe able to put the extra in a Miller Trust.

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Sendhelp Sep 2018
You have a younger brother
1) who lived in your Mom's condo?
2) who destroyed the condo?
3) who has an inheritance interest in your Mom's estate?

That is enough reason to not get your finances mixed with your mother's finances.

What will you do if mother invites her son to come live with her????

Sendhelp Sep 2018
Tabby,
Good that you have asked this question. It shows you have got your thinking cap on.
Others will come by to give more details on why you do not want Mom to buy into your home.

Here is my answer:

1) Making a huge financial decision based upon desperation will not work.
2) Do not combine your finances/possessions with your mother, or create a caregiver situation that you cannot change or cancel.
3) Keep her finances separate from yours.

Is she at all ready for Assisted Living?

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