How do I take my mom's dog away from her? She has dementia and is not taking care of him properly.

This isn't really an answer, but just the way I handle the dog issue. My 91 year old mom was diagnosed 8 yrs ago. We moved in with her before this, which was lucky for her. We got a small dog about 6 years ago, he is her companion . Mom is very mobile , walks dog multiple times a day, short walks, she knows every one and where she lives. I can't keep her from going out. The dog is a rescue and can't or won't hold his pee. We diaper him with belly bands, mom has been able to remember this as we drilled it in repeatedly. I installed snugcam baby camera monitors that I check while at work, 5 mins.away. I can speak through it if necessary. It is funny to see what she does while I'm away, mostly sleep and color. The cameras are inexpensive and the app is free, much peace of mind . My mom's dog carries on when I take her out , he barks when she comes back. If you have to take a beloved companion away please consider the animals attachment to his person, maybe visits could be made.

It really depends on the person's ability to process it. She's likely not going to like it, but, I'd try to pick something that is the least upsetting to her. I'd work on something that she might actually believe, like, the dog needs his update on shots and a flea treatment. He'll stay with you until, it's completed. Then, just keep repeating that.

My LO was obsessed with her cat, but, couldn't keep it. It was not reacting well to her dementia. So, I told her that I would take care of the cat, until my LO got her health back in AL. She needed physical therapy, medication, good diet, etc. She didn't like it, but, she accepted it After a couple of weeks, she forgot about the cat. It was shocking, because that cat was her life. But, she honestly showed no interest in an actual cat or her cat after a couple of weeks.

It sounds like you've had lots of good advice about finding ways to keep the dog and your Mom together, so I'll just add another benefit to do so that we recently discovered...
We finally had to give up on 24/7 care and moved Mom to memory care a month ago. The transition has been really difficult on Mom, and my sister and I, but a boon has been Mom's little dog. We cleared him with the memory care home (submitted his papers of up-to-date vaccines) and now he is the star of the show there with all the residents! He's still a little skittish about people attached to wheels (walkers, wheelchairs), but mostly he just brings so much joy to their faces when he accompanies me to visit Mom. So my two cents is, if you are able to keep the dog, down the road you may find unintended benefits of doing so!

I am all for seniors having animals, but sometimes, it isn’t in the best interest of the animal. My neighbor who is considered legally blind, but still can see a little, killed her 2 parakeets because she just couldn’t see that there was no food. The empty shells in the seed cup she kept thinking that there was food in the cup, but there really wasn’t because the shells were empty, so they starved to death!! I didn’t know about this till after the fact because I inquired after I didn’t hear birds for a while when I drove by her home to get to my home, I used to hear them, but didn’t anymore. You really have to have the insight into when a senior should have an animal and when they shouldn’t, it’s easier to find a senior an adult day care to curb loneliness than to give an animal. Analyze this carefully. It doesn’t make it right when it isn’t in the best interest of the animal just to curb loneliness for the senior - it then becomes animal neglect/cruelty. This is probably unrelated to this post but just an FYI situation that all should know.

I just walked by the front room. Hubby is sitting in his recliner, our little dog is in the chair with him. He is her human, I am OK. I do the feeding, watering, bathing, taking to vet, etc. but HE is her human. She loves him so much. In our case, she has a doggie door so she can go outside. If I ever separated them, she would grieve. I don't know how bad the situation is, but if there is some way you can let her doggie stay, please do so. Maybe a doggie door and self feeders would help.

Could you tell her that you are taking him to the vet for a.......flea treatment, vaccination, etc. and then take the dog home with you?
You could explain he needs to stay there for a couple of days. It really depends on how severe her dementia is and how well you could tell her and enlist her cooperation OR have to sneak the dog out by some grand fabrication and pacify her each time she remembers about him.
You may want to ask the vet for suggestions. I'm sure they have to deal with this at times.

Good luck to you and your (soon to be) new fur baby. 🐶

Hello Blondie1dc. When I read Your Question I thought "oh no please do not take Your Moms most loyal and faithful companion away from Her. Now Your Mother has dementia and is approaching the end stage of Her Life and Your Moms only really great pleasure is Her dog. I bet Your Mother talks to that dog, and most likely he understands every word too.
Since dogs only need to be fed once daily pay a visit to check in on Your Mom and feed the dog with a nice substantial meal. You can pick up tins of dog food and more at Your local Store. This is a sad time for You Blondie and of coarse You want to see Your Mom happy and the dog is giving so much joy.

Isn't there someone who can come in a couple of times a day? Great job forr a kid.

My question is..How is she not taking care of him properly?
If she is over feeding him, and this can happen as the person with dementia forgets that they have fed a pet and often that they have forgotten to eat themselves so both over eat.
Is she not taking him outside so he is urinating and defecating inside? If that is the case is it possible to
1. someone come in to take the dog out 2 or 3 times a day?
or
2. retrain the dog to use a litter box (if it is a smaller dog).
3. (and this might be a biggie) Where is your Mom living now? if she is in an assisted living or Memory Care facility can they not have someone walk the dog, I am sure you will pay for that just like you pay for everything else. If she is living in her home if she can not care for the dog how can she care for herself?


Animals are very important not only do they provide companionship but there is evidence that they lower blood pressure, they can keep someone calm. I am sure she communicates with the dog, I know I tell mine about a bad day that I have had. And they seem to understand. I would look for other option other than taking the dog away.
Telling your Mom that you had to take the dog to the vet is an option, I presume she will never come to your house so there is not a chance she will see the dog.
If you do this I would try to find a stuffed dog or other object that might "replace" the dog.

Hi Blondie - My family has dealt with this twice. MIL had mild dementia. Her cat "went to the vet". She inquired about it several times but seemed to forget about it in a week or so. I recently had to re-home my Mom's dog. (By the way, the local breed club had a service that matched the dog with a fantastic new home with a vet tech who was also a groomer. Whew!) The dog had to go because Mom was not getting her outside for her chores or waited so long that the dog made a mess in the hallway or elevator at the AL. The AL didn't include pet care in their services. Mom is still aware of her loss and misses the dog, but is relieved that she no longer has the responsibility. She also really appreciated a little toy dog that looks like the real one. It looks like it is sleeping and even has a battery so you can see it "breathing". The company is perfectpetzzz.com. They have lots of choices of sleeping dogs and cats. Mom's OT asked for info on them because she had clients who would like one and the health aides told me some other residents had them. Good on you, by the way, for taking the dog yourself! Good luck!