Need Help - Male Incontinence

...so which way should I position "The Almighty Rod"?

All I can say is that dementia + incontinence = BIG MESS

We have a couple of things going on here. Dad is really taking the incontinence reality VERY hard, and I honestly think he doesn't remember that this part of his life has changed. As a result, I'm currently changing his clothes multiple times a day and doing TONS of laundry.

Dad isn't grasping that 1) the incontinence briefs don't have "the hole" like regular underwear and 2) He really CAN'T use the toilet like he did in the past. So, he will try to whip it out while standing and he COMPLETELY misses (often urinating on his clothes) or he won't put "The Rod" back in its proper place so it ends up hanging out of the bottom of the incontinence briefs. He will then urinate again (without realizing it) and ends up having an accident. Add that to the fact that he has bowel incontinence too and if he has a "muddy" brief... let's just say that things get dirty VERY quickly.

I know it's futile, but I have been trying to encourage him to "just go" in his briefs. That's asking him to break at least an 86-year-old habit if he's been potty trained since the age of two.

This could be bad. The Adult Day Center only "directs" when it comes to the bathroom. They aren't really equipped to handle constant incontinence. If it gets to the point where he can't go to the ADC, I'm completely SCREWED!!!!!

PLEASE... any advice would be greatly appreciated.