Does your abusive family member seem fine to other people? I mean, does your family member hide the abusive behavior except 4 towards you?

It's maddening when my friends used to think my mother was nice, (cuz she trashed them as soon as they left) & nobody believed she was abusive to me. My neighbor said that's called "gaslighting" (when you feel like you're going crazy because an abuser is such a good faker & manipulator, that nobody believes it). Mother would first close all our windows before screaming & choking me. There was nobody to help back in the 1960's either.