I hired a HHA for weekends. Her husband saw a text from me about work and made her quit. Should I report her to the agency for this privacy lapse?

I'm not sure what you want from the people on this forum, you asked us our opinions on whether you should report the breach to the agency and yet later admit you contacted them first thing Monday morning and appropriate actions are being taken. We can all commiserate with being let down by an aide you were counting on, very few people who use home care haven't been left in the lurch due to any number of reasons. IMO continuing to seek vengeance upon a troubled woman with a low paying job isn't going to get you anything but bitter satisfaction, and pushing the "drunken, abusive husband" into a corner isn't likely to make him forget you and go away but rather is apt to focus his anger in your direction. You stood up, you reported - good for you - and now it is time to move on.

I get my services through a consumer driven program. The agency processes her time sheets. That is all. All employee contracts,instruction ,interviews,hiring and firing are my responsibility. I text my aide every day what we will be doing that day. There are specific details of personal privacy and phone privacy. There are also rules I must follow as well. We both sign the contract. We both sign the time sheets every day. I am the first line of communication and all communication between us is supposed to be private and not discussed with others .

I agree, he should not be reading her phone but it seems he is a controlling person. Did he not know she is working. I see where ur upset. I do feel the agency that pays her be told what happened. People rely on aides so they can work. Not fair they call on such short notice.

Okay, if you don't want to let it go, then what do you want to achieve? And who are you making your complaint against? The HHA for allowing - if allowing is the word - her cellphone to fall into her coercive drunk husband's hands, or her husband for picking up his wife's cellphone? Or the agency who has this vulnerable but also dodgy contractor on their books?

You were initially angry because this woman let you down at short notice.
In the course of her letting you down she revealed that the instructions you had given her concerning your mother's care had been read by her husband.
You then, annoyed at the inconvenience, brought up the privacy violation.
To which she, no doubt alarmed, responded with nonsensical alternative excuses, further annoying you.
You say she has become aggressive, and later comment that you - I couldn't agree more - do not need to pick up an alcoholic stalker, but do you mean her or her husband? Or are they well-matched?

The thing is, what you have here is an escalation and what you want is to stop it. So, how do you see this unfortunate episode ending, and what outcomes are you aiming for?

I think people are incredibly naive if they believe people in healthcare - in fact any service workers - don't talk to their significant others about their day and share information that could be a breach of confidence.

The agency processes her contract and datasheets + issues her pay check. There is a case manager. Scheduling,hiring and firing are my responsibility. I spoke to the case manager this morning there were multiple Hippa violations . I fled 750 miles to get away from an abusive alcoholic in 2007. I am now exposed to an abusive alcoholic who believes he has an axe to grind with me because I am threatening him with a hippa complaint. My point I am not to blame for this situation . This aide was VERY unique professional. I sympathize with her situation. But she has now exposed me to a situation that puts me in fear, I left my whole life to get out of my situation so I would not have to be in constant flight or fight mode. She also left me in a lurch. I don't receive 7 day a week care on a whim consumers know you have to fight for every minute and every day of service you receive. The aides we hire we depend on. I went through multiple conversations with this person over just that . For her to quit in 7 minutes then become aggressive to me because she said I was trying to harm her by pointing out her contractual violations is a psychological ploy. I am angry I was left without the care I needed as well. If she works for another vulnerable person will the same situation occur? No good HHA would put their clients in this situation. As I said I have another aide who is wonderful and has no complaints in 2 years of working 7 days a week. I was trying to give her a well deserved break,not pick up an alcoholic stalker. I guess I don't understand the people who think I should let this go even if it has been confirmed as multiple violations.

Your narrative is a little confusing - you ask if you should report this HHA to "the agency" for her privacy lapse, then go on to explain that you don't go through an agency. So to whom are you planning to report her?

Look. I do understand the frustration, and I do understand how infuriating it is to feel you've rejected perfectly good candidates in favour of one who has proved hopeless.

But I wouldn't be so pessimistic that your shortlisted candidates won't still be interested if you were to approach them sensitively (try flattery), for one thing; and for another, what more punishment do you want to mete out to a woman who is apparently good at her skilled job but prevented from performing it by her nightmare husband?

Perhaps the best thing, if you can be sure of contacting her privately (I'd suggest a phone call, first confirming that she is free to talk), would be to counsel her a) to GET HELP and b) not to undertake commitments until her personal circumstances allow her to.

I mean, crikey, what if this man had forced his way into your home once your back was turned? There are bigger concerns at stake.

I am on the consumer driven side communications do not go through the agency we were communicating through messenger. No matter phone technicality privacy of communication was disscued at hiring and 1st day of work. I get some of you are saying . I went through an abusive marriage with an alcoholic. I am not completely unsympathetic I worked two full-time jobs. But really if you know that is your situation why take a caregiver job . We count on our aids . It was stressed that there are multiple applicants. Are you sure I can depend on you? The prior applicants have either gotten employment or don't want to work for you after you passed them over the first time. You sign a contract we are both held to it. Really I'm not supposed to be upset over 7 min notice of quitting ? Grooming ,dressing, and assistance getting out of bed are a small part of her daily duty.

Her husband driving her to your house is a breach of confidentiality also.

If the HHA won't be working for you anymore I would imagine the agency would be the first to know. But if they are not aware, my suggestion is to just cut bait and move on. If you choose to use the agency again you can tell them at that time so you don't get another unprofessional aide.

All communications should go through an agency. If the HHA was running late she should call the agency to tell them and then the agency can call you to let you know. Only in very specific situations should communication be directly between the aide and the client's family, such as if an aide has worked for you for a period of time and there is trust established over time. And only then the private communication should be brief. And even that's a slippery slope.

I’m sure you were frustrated in the moment. Yes, I would contact the agency, to share your concern that their employee may be in a bad situation and was forced to quit by her potentially abusive/drunk husband. Reading her texts is a symptom of abuse and trying to control. I feel badly for her, and I hope she wasn't fired from the agency over her refusal to work that day.

Many of the CNAs I meet at Moms NH are in similar vulnerable situations at home. When I complained to the Director about short staffing, he shared with me that abusive situations at home is the 2nd leading cause of staff turnover. (Calling in for lack of childcare is the #1 cause for dismissal) Sad because many of these women are excellent caregivers if given the chance. So if I were to call the agency, I wouldn’t zero in of the phone privacy issue as much as her husbands refusal to let her work. I hope you find another caregiver that has more stability.

Uhm, were you communicating using an agency provided phone that was for business purposes only or were you texting her private number? In the agency we used all communication went through the office; we were not privy to our caregiver's private phone number, did not know their address and were only given their first names - this was to protect their workers from being harassed at home and to ensure all communication was professional and above board.

If you feel you must report the breach in client confidentiality - really? Must you? Oh well... - then perhaps you could do it in a way that alerts the agency to the fact that one of their HHA's is in a highly vulnerable and alarming situation. God willing, they will help her address it.

And if the drunk husband was driving, tell the police.