Has anyone else gone through conservatorship with someone who sort of has it together but really shouldn't be managing their own money?

I don't understand this statement either "He would not approve the guardianship/conservatorship if I did not leave the majority of his accounts alone so the ones I have access to will be enough for now." My father most definitely didn't approve of my conservatorship: told the guardian at litum that he didn't need a conservator, the doctors were the incompetent people, and if he did need a conservator I was the last person on earth he would pick. My mother and one sibling supported me and the judge wouldn't even consider the brother my Dad wanted. So the judge approved my guardianship petition and that was the only needed approval.

Is this a matter of the court has granted conservatorship but you have some kind of side deal with your Dad? You may think you are being kind to "phase" in taking things over but if you have conservatorship YOU are responsible for ALL your father's resources; you really don't have the option of leaving anything in your father's control. First, you will still have to report on it to the court and will be responsible for any monies not spent in your father's care and/or best interest. Second, Dad's spending could easily impact future Medicaid eligibility if you cannot justify/document it. Third, I don't think it's kind to continuously argue with Dad. Take over, even if there's a big argument, and let the wound begin healing.

If you are the conservator, I would recommend removing all financial records from your father's home before he has a chance to destroy them.

Because my father's vascular dementia is kinda strange (personality profoundly degraded, memory still fairly good, thinking pretty messed up, executive decision gone) I've taken the "role" of parent to a teenager. If Dad wants something that's reasonable (newspaper/magazine subscription, new cane/walker/pillows, small fridge), I get it. It is his money that he worked hard to earn over a lifetime. It needs to last long enough to fund care for him and my mother but he should still be able to have some small comforts and a few hundred dollars a year isn't going to make much difference when we're spending thousands every month for MC. I think you need to take a similar position/stance with your father.

Babs I'm confused.
I think we all assume when you mention conservatorship that you are talking about a power granted after you went before a judge and gave evidence that your father was no longer legally competent - if that is the case then your father has no say and there is no legal reason for his wishes to be accommodated. The fact that you mention his demands and that your lawyer apparently is urging you to consider them makes me wonder if you are merely in possession of a POA and that your father's incompetence has not yet been proven?

Is it possible that someone can override the electronic banking and having you provide the copies of the cancelled cheques. It seems like an added expense that is useless. Could be some clerk with power play issues just trying to make it harder. Imo

I don't understand "I will have access to very little of his money but the attorney says it is a start." As guardian/conservator of my father I have access to everything. I have complete decision making authority under annual court review. I'm allowed to use online banking too. Is it the court or your attorney that wants checks? Most banks do not provide canceled checks in bank statements anymore and if they do there are additional charges. My county chancellor likes saving money too much to require spending more of it for anything that doesn't directly benefit the ward.

Although I generally like to do things in stages and obtain consent if not cooperation when handling things for others, the fact that I needed to petition for guardianship proved that method had already failed with my difficult father. When guardianship was granted I immediately took control. I still listen to my Dad and explain my decisions at least a couple of times (although his vascular dementia meant he couldn't understand why my way was better most of the time) and then went with a calm statement of "this is the path your doctors (or the court) thinks is best and I agree so this is what is going to happen". I don't see wrestling matches each month over which bills to pay from which account beneficial for you or your father. If giving your father the bills and an old checkbook and letting him write meaningless checks provides your father with some comfort then I'm all for it. Don't waste a lot of time and energy arguing real issues with someone who isn't capable of meaningful understanding.

First thing I did was open new checking and savings accounts and transfered my father's direct deposits into the new checking. As soon as I confirmed the direct deposits and scheduled insurance payments were using the new conservatorship account, I closed everything else. I pay all his bills electronically using the checking account, transferring funds electronically from savings as needed. I don't think I've written a check since the first payment to the MC. I keep a bookkeeping style journal in excel of every transaction and add a short description (usually the bill/invoice date and number). Yearly I submit hard copies of the my journal, bank statements, bills, and any receipts to the court. I get a letter a couple of weeks later stating my report has been reviewed and approved by the court.

Although my father would understand my report to the court I do not provide him with such information because it only leads to stressful arguments over how he would rather spend his money. For example, Dad feels that keeping the proceeds from the sale of his house in a savings account and bond funds is a total waste when it could be better "invested" in get rich quick schemes. MC is a total waste of money too, according to Dad. I tell him I'm paying his bills which is mostly just the MC now and that he has enough in savings to keep paying that bill for years to come since his SS and pension covers most of the MC cost.

I suggest you resort to a little bit of trickery - if you were able to gain conservatorship that means he isn't capable of looking after this himself. Perhaps you could cancel his chequing account but allow him to write cheques as usual (which of course would be worthless pieces of paper at that point), this would give him the illusion of still being in control. And when he wants to review his accounts tell him that the bank has done away with paper statements, it's the modern way🤨

This is confusing, and clearly difficult. Who are 'they' that want cancelled checks? Here it is difficult without large fees to get cancelled checks back again from the bank!

Could you open another account and progress through getting enough paid into it so that you can handle most of the expenditure without his involvement? My first husband also 'spread out' our finances in multiple accounts, so when we separated they all had to be closed. Could you do the same? If your father is still managing one account, he may not realise that things have been simplified a great deal to reduce his stress.