Has anyone been put in a position of being asked to caretake for a relative and refused, angering their family?

Say 'Yup, I'm lazy and selfish', smile, and leave it at that. It doesn't give them anywhere to go! And anyone hearing it, will automatically question why you said it, not accept it as Gospel truth.

YOU'RE RETIRED! Its just like the stay at home mother. People think they have lots of time on their hands so why can't they do u a favor for them. Are you basically a good hearted person who saying no was hard in the past? Now you have learned your limitations from caregiving and are learning to say no. People like this always surprise me. If I were ur cousin I would see where u took care of Mom and now Dad and say, she has had enough on her plate and she deserves some time to herself. These people have no idea what is involved with caring for a parent, making decisions for them and just the whole responsibility of it all. These people are selfish. You r not their slave. I gather since they were trying to save money, they didn't think u needed to be paid. Tell them your responsibility is only to your parents not your Aunts and Uncles. That is cousins responsibility. That even though Dad is in a home, the responsibilty to him doesn't go way. What time you have is yours to do what you want. That u have done all the caregiving you are going to do. They get mad oh well.

Well, some people get angry if anyone tells or does something that doesn't go along with their wishes. And name-calling is a bullying tactic.  Some very nasty bullies out there, but you just learn to discount what they say and to ignore them. Takes practice, but you can actually learn to respect yourself for standing up to bullying.