How do you get a parent diagnosed when they refuse?

So, the original incident when the police were called and ended up arresting you (!) was more than a year ago, you were advised not to challenge the charge (?!), and find that you are still prevented from checking up on let alone assisting your mother?

So who's responsible for her care? Can you find that out?

If nobody is, you'd better write down an account of the last few years, since you first noticed her illness, and formally submit it to APS. If it's on record and in writing and they still do nothing, at least it won't be for want of your trying.

I would say, and get better advice. But actually, since that lawyer is also the one who's familiar with the back story and pointed you in the direction that's got you to here... go back to that lawyer and say "what now?" Try your best not to say "what now, smartass?"

You went to jail twice? What were the charges?

"The last time we went to court i was told it would not be dropped because thats a liability to the state and just agree to this because it will disappear in a year "

What will "disappear in a year"? Were you supposed to stay away from your mother, and yet you went to her house anyway?

I'm confused.

Try to get help from her regular doctor. Make an appointment for yourself and let them know what is going on and that she needs assessment and treatment. Tell them you fear for your life. There must be a point when the doctor thinks she is not of sound mind and can take matters into his/her own hands. I'm guessing you aren't POA.

Were you living with her? Are you now homeless?

I think I would call Adult Protection Services. Explain that you have been trying to care for your mother and that you think she has dementia. You don't wish to abandon her but there is not much you can do since she has an order of protection. Ask if they could periodically do well checks on her.

What are the symptoms that lead you to conclude she has dementia? How long has this been going on? Who else has seen these symptoms? She obviously can "show time" for the police, which is not uncommon.

It varies by location and policy and training, but in general police are very poorly equipped to deal with any kind of mental illness.

You personally can't get her diagnosed as she refuses. In fact you personally can do almost nothing, from the sound of the 'order of protection'. You could probably apply for guardianship, but you are starting from a difficult position and may not be successful. Are there any other family members who could take some responsibility? Failing that, you probably need to back off and let things sort themselves out as they will. Calm your heart - it's a very distressing situation to be in. Getting out of it may the only sensible thing to do.

Well. If your mother has dementia and she's living alone at home because you have been removed from the picture, it is only a matter of time before the real situation comes to light and you will be vindicated. Do you have access to legal advice?