Abusive elder and confused POA. Any advice?

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anonymous851651 Asked October 2018

Abusive elder and confused POA. Any advice?

As many others here are experiencing, I am going through a terrible situation right now.

I am FPOA and MPOA for an extremely abusive, mentally ill and manipulative elder. I was named POA as a child because the relationship with my parent was very strained for obvious reasons.

Now, the elder has reached a point where they are making poor decisions, are occasionally lucid (but otherwise declared incompetent by several doctors and nurses) and will absolutely not leave their home, preferring instead to pay 3000+ a month for in home care. They have now also involved their shady real estate agent in getting them a lawyer to prevent me or anyone else from observing their fiscal decisions and completely removed me from paying their bills and other financial care.

The worst part is that they are abusing and financially manipulating me, telling me I must leave my parent and move into their home if I have any hope of inheriting anything from them.

APS has been involved multiple times to no resolution. I was told there’s little I can do beyond guardianship which is a lengthy and expensive process. I don’t have the assets for legal action and no longer desire any relationship with them, which is tragic, because they were once my best friend. I am also concerned for my future as they are my last surviving family outside of my struggling single parent, so inheritence is important to me. I am grateful for any advice I can get.

Abusive Relationship Power of Attorney (POA)

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score 0 · Answer 1

Can you afford a better lawyer than the opposition? Just asking. I let an inheritance go (my stepfather saw to it my alcoholic mother disinherited me -- there was no reason whatsoever) and should have filed a claim against her estate being a daughter, I did not and have regretted it. There's not much you can do now, unless you get contrary legal advice, but it sounds like this is not the man or woman you remember as "best friend." If you have been legally stripped of your powers by this relative and his or her "surrogates" why do "they" want you to move into the house? Good luck. It all sounds gruesom and very manipulative.

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score 0 · Answer 2

I agree with the Ahmijoy and Joanne29 run away from that mess. It sounds like they are using the so call inheritance to bait the line to keep you fishing. In other words, manipulate you. Cut your losses! JoAnne29 is right, your life will be hell! We can always make money, but we can't make new time. Don't waste your time on a maybe promises! Go to school & get a job. Working 3 jobs is better than putting up with that crap!

Good Luck!

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score 0 · Answer 3

I agree. There is no amount of money that would make me tolerate this. You’re being threatened and abused. You seem to have no power as POA and who knows if it’s even legal. I have never heard of a child being made POA. If they are making unwise financial decisions and involved with a “shady” realtor, who knows if there would even be an inheritance? This is a grandparent you’re writing about? And there is no relationship between them and their adult child who is your parent? Nope. I’d say but-bye and get on with my life meaning get a job and make your own way. If your “struggling single parent” is capable of working, they should also find employment. If they are not capable, file for aide and or disability.

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I was made POA at 18 which was decided when I was 15. It has only been a few years since then. And yes, she has no relationship with any of her children. Sorry I didn’t make that clear. Thank you for your advice.

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score 2 · Answer 4

How can you be made POA as a child. You r not old enough to make decisions for yourself let alone an adult.

My opinion...your parent is your responsibility. If a lawyer is involved, ur POA is probably revoked especially since your responsibility has been taken away. Walk away. If you move in with them your life we be hell. Is the inheritance worth giving up your life. And there is no guarantee you will inherit. Wills can be changed and there is no law saying that what is in the will has be revealed before the person's passing. They can't manipulate if you don't let them. They have made their choses and you can chose not to be a part of it. Let their lawyer handle everything. Tell them, so sorry but no thankyou.

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Sorry I did not make that clear. It went into writing when I turned 18. Thanks for your advice. I think you’re right.

(1)

Abusive elder and confused POA. Any advice?

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