What about caregiver mental health? How do I find a good therapist?
I've been at this by myself for over 2 years and I'm finding that I get very angry very quickly over nothing. I hit the stop button on my life to take care of my father and I haven't been able to hit the go button yet.
Can you get a paid private caregiver to come in for a few hours? Is your Father a Veteran? If so, please contact VA for help. They can file the application for you...you just need his Dr. to sign form...make sure you fill out form, though & he don’t forget to sign & put his license number! You wouldn’t believe what trouble I had when my mother’s dr failed to do this! I think HE had dementia too!!! Well, back to YOU...you need help & get out of house even for a few hours or go see movie! Get someone you can trust & agency did background check on so it’s one less thing to do...this getting out of house for a few hours can clear your head! I share caregiving with a paid caregiver & I first started to go to work a couple days a week...or go to a movie on $5 Tuesday...I cannot find a therapist or support group since they usually meet in evening..I probably should look in insurance book who is in my borough & takes my insurance...& I would recommend it to you. Hugs 🤗
I feel the same way. Mostly, I hung on & endured until recently, when I saw a bad change in my personality. I hate asking for help, (but that's how I got to this point). Today I googled "therapist near me", & phoned a few to hear their own description of their methods. (I think hearing their voice is also a good way to get a vibe about them). Anyway, it's free to call. I have my first appt Friday. It's probably the most money I'm ever going to spend on myself, but I have to do it now, before I have even more regrets. No more cappuccino though, lol. (P.S. Don't forget to pray.) Good luck...✌☺🙋
In an earlier answer, the different kinds of Doctors have been touched upon with regard to insurance, but I also want to add that the type you seek really depends on the kind of treatment you are seeking. You may need to see more than one.
A psychiatrist (MD or NP) usually offers mainly medication management.
A psychologist can offer therapies other than medication, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, anger management, coping skills etc. primarily focusing on you and your personal needs.
A counselor will probably be more likely to offer practical advice regarding your relationship and do more 2-way talk therapy.
A social worker will probably be more geared toward focusing on the needs of the person you are caring for and work with you to discover how you can best meet those needs while taking care of yourself as well. Social workers are better than others for directing you toward resources that might be available to help your situation.
this is just my experience and of course there is some overlap.
that was such great information...writing down the actions of each service provider...Comprehensive yet concise...excellent Thankyou Please don't take any anxiety meds...They Are addictive. And I have had patients who stopped these medications abruptly & suffered seizures. And will weaken your CNS (nervous system) with regular use.
I work in medicine & it was through my clinical experience & realization of the harm that meds do cause that i now use only holistic treatments 1000mg of Magnesium Citrate after dinner each night will help calm the anxiety And a tea of Chamomile and St Johns Wort 1:1 (1oz to 1Pint of distilled water...do Not boil)..Pour the boiled water over the herbs..let sit 10mins to overnight...covered. Drink 1 cup am & pm warm with a spoon of raw honey More if you like. This will help strengthen and calm the nerves Herbs (foods) have no side effects...and many side benefits! Also eat plenty of protein...fish & chicken are preferred...with each meal In times of physical, emotional/mental demand (stress) the body needs more protein Good luck on your journey
Good advice so far. I will add that having a therapist who is over 50 and has other clients dealing with family and elder care issues is a very important trait to look for. As a woman, I also preferred to work with a female therapist. Agism and sexism, some might acuse. Meh! Get over it.
A therapist will certainly be helpful in pointing you in the right direction and understanding your feelings. Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task. Start with recommendations from your own Dr and friends. Look them up if you can and see if you feel they may be someone who you can relate too. Make an appointment for a getting to know you first visit. Make it clear that this is what the visit is about. At the end if you feel comfortable tell the therapist and make another appointment. Otherwise move on to someone else on your list and do the same thing till you find someone who gives your their whole attention and empathizes with your situation. By that I mean no phone calls no slyly looking at their cell phone. In fact I prefer to see it put in a drawer. This is about you. Make sure you are comfortable in their consulting room, some have some weird ideas about decorating. You have free will so if you feel therapy is not for you and you would rather talk to a trusted friend then do just that.. I was in the hospital once and one night in tears not really about anything and the next morning the psychiatrist came in to see me. She was such a lovely person, just sat on the bed and chatted, no notebook or laptop just a very pleasant visit. At other times I have seen others i would never go back to.
Of course you get angry and it is not about nothing. You are trapped in a situation and see no way out. There is always something you can do to change things but oft times caregivers feel it is not fair to the loved one they are caring for, but do they ever think it is fair to you. Of course not it is your duty as they looked after you. NO it's not they choose to have children and should have realized the responsibility that went with that decision. So you are not required to pay them back in kind. You certainly should make sure to the best of your ability that they are safe and properly cared for but not necessarily by you. If they clearly refuse needed care it is again the familiy's responsibility to take steps that they get that care even if you have to involve authorities.
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A psychiatrist (MD or NP) usually offers mainly medication management.
A psychologist can offer therapies other than medication, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, anger management, coping skills etc. primarily focusing on you and your personal needs.
A counselor will probably be more likely to offer practical advice regarding your relationship and do more 2-way talk therapy.
A social worker will probably be more geared toward focusing on the needs of the person you are caring for and work with you to discover how you can best meet those needs while taking care of yourself as well. Social workers are better than others for directing you toward resources that might be available to help your situation.
this is just my experience and of course there is some overlap.
Please don't take any anxiety meds...They Are addictive. And I have had patients who stopped these medications abruptly & suffered seizures.
And will weaken your CNS (nervous system) with regular use.
I work in medicine & it was through my clinical experience & realization of the harm that meds do cause that i now use only holistic treatments
1000mg of Magnesium Citrate after dinner each night will help calm the anxiety
And a tea of Chamomile and St Johns Wort 1:1 (1oz to 1Pint of distilled water...do Not boil)..Pour the boiled water over the herbs..let sit 10mins to overnight...covered. Drink 1 cup am & pm warm with a spoon of raw honey More if you like. This will help strengthen and calm the nerves
Herbs (foods) have no side effects...and many side benefits!
Also eat plenty of protein...fish & chicken are preferred...with each meal
In times of physical, emotional/mental demand (stress) the body needs more protein
Good luck on your journey
Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task. Start with recommendations from your own Dr and friends. Look them up if you can and see if you feel they may be someone who you can relate too.
Make an appointment for a getting to know you first visit. Make it clear that this is what the visit is about. At the end if you feel comfortable tell the therapist and make another appointment. Otherwise move on to someone else on your list and do the same thing till you find someone who gives your their whole attention and empathizes with your situation. By that I mean no phone calls no slyly looking at their cell phone. In fact I prefer to see it put in a drawer. This is about you. Make sure you are comfortable in their consulting room, some have some weird ideas about decorating.
You have free will so if you feel therapy is not for you and you would rather talk to a trusted friend then do just that..
I was in the hospital once and one night in tears not really about anything and the next morning the psychiatrist came in to see me. She was such a lovely person, just sat on the bed and chatted, no notebook or laptop just a very pleasant visit. At other times I have seen others i would never go back to.
Of course you get angry and it is not about nothing. You are trapped in a situation and see no way out. There is always something you can do to change things but oft times caregivers feel it is not fair to the loved one they are caring for, but do they ever think it is fair to you. Of course not it is your duty as they looked after you. NO it's not they choose to have children and should have realized the responsibility that went with that decision.
So you are not required to pay them back in kind. You certainly should make sure to the best of your ability that they are safe and properly cared for but not necessarily by you. If they clearly refuse needed care it is again the familiy's responsibility to take steps that they get that care even if you have to involve authorities.