How do you overcome anxiety and loneliness when your husband is a full time caregiver?

"Full Time"; does that mean he stays at her house overnights, too? You are at work or alone most of the time? Is he around to be a father to your child?

"The State pay to care for her but is not that much, so I cover the rest." What happened to her money? Did she not save money for her retirement or later years? How old is she? How many more years are you looking at supporting both your husband and his mother? What will happen to your child when he or she needs expensive items or school-related costs? Are you saving for your own future? Many things need to be considered because you have chosen to bring a child into the world.

I am 32 my Husband is 50 and our toddler is 2. When I first met his mom she was still waking and independent. Then she started falling Ill and his sister would driver her to dr. appointments. My husband had been having a hard time finding work and so he saw that his mom was needing help with walking and going up the stairs so she asked him to take care of her full time. She got Hip Surgery on one side then she got a knee replacement then she got the other hip surgery and then the other knee replacement. After the second knee surgery that's when she started doing really bad at walking. One day the first knee got infected and she ended in the hospital with a major surgery trying to save her leg but ended up having to get the replacement out and now her knee can not bend. The Drs just said she is bed bound from now on. She then had a stroke and lost movement of one hand. She currently can barely move her only hand so my husband has to take care of all her needs. She is very hard of hearing and her speech is deteriorating fast. It's hard for me to understand her, but fortunately my husband does know what she is saying. The State pay to care for her but is not that much, so I cover the rest.

Eighteen years is a big age difference. I do not know what cultural background you and your husband are from - and that may have nothing to do with it - but that said, it sounds to me like you are onto something when you wrote: "when it feels that the only reason he chose you, is so you can help him run his errands". Women who do not listen to their gut feelings such as is in that very powerful statement you wrote often find themselves stuck in the same role but worse off years later.

You are definitely NOT selfish.

Your husband has chosen his mother over his wife and child. He did not have to do that; it was his choice. Your husband may be incapable of establishing healthy boundaries with his mother. You can try to help him establish healthy boundaries by establishing them for yourself first. You have a child to consider.

Those are my thoughts given the little I read about your situation. I hope you come back and fill in your story.

Hi, Sammy! Welcome to Aging Care! ((((((Hugs)))))).

How old are you? How old is DH (dear husband?) How old is your toddler?

Are you a Stay at Home Mom? (SAHM)?

What are is mom's impairments?

What do you mean "his mom needed him full time"?

Was he working before that?

More information will get you better answers.