My mom believes my adult son took her white jacket with pink sleeves and wanted to move out. I told her he did not, and asked her what he would do with it. She said she saw him take it and even followed him. She can barely walk without her cane. Anyway, she is very upset with me for not believing her and believing only in my son. She said she can't live with someone that won't believe her and thinks of her as crazy. She's making it very difficult for me to administer her meds and insulin. She'd rather eat snacks than take a meal coming from me. She stays in her room and won't socialize with the family. I am stressing and thinking about it at work. My son is afraid to approach her in case seeing him will trigger her anger. I don't know what to do.
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Sometimes, yes.
But moreso, it indicates a loss of reasoning skills and executive functioning. Many folks with dementia lose the ability to "reason from facts". Instead of
My sweater/jewelry/money is missing, Let me look for it/try to recall what I did with it/ask someone
it becomes
My "x" is missing, it's been stolen. The next person I see, THAT'S who stole it.
It's very much like the illogical reasoning of a very small child. Except that it's your parent; the one who TAUGHT you how to reason.
It's heart-breaking, I know.
((((hugs))))))
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-theft-paranoia-or-forgetfulness-133383.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-bad-behaviors-impact-caregivers-148184.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/hallucinations-delusions-and-paranoia-151513.htm
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Her broken brain is doing the logical thing...finding the culprit.
She's upset and angry. Empathize with that feeling. Do NOT try to persuade her of her illogical thought process.
Google Teepa Snow. She's got great videos on how to do this.
(Oh mom, your favorite jacket! That's so upsetting! Let me check son's room").
If this is a sudden change in mental status, be sure to have her checked for a UTI.