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Teelee14 Asked November 2018

How can I cope dealing with my mother (81) calling me names and cussing at me on a daily basis?

 I try to ignore the behavior. I am feel like I am giving up no matter how hard I try not to.

Sunnygirl1 Nov 2018
If she suffers from mental decline, her behavior may be something that is out of her control. Has she been diagnosed with dementia? I'd discuss it with her doctor to see if she could benefit from medication for agitation, anxiety or depression. When behavior can't be managed in the home, you may need professional care for her. I'd explore the options.

Masonnic Nov 2018
Sounds like some type of dementia . I know how that can be I am awaken with the profanity as well as getting hit with pillows each morning. The cause? Frontotemporal dementia I go in the other room and start praying that he will calm down It helps he stops eventually but I know he will have to be placed in an assistant home facility . The Lord knows how much we can take You will be in my prayers

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JoAnn29 Nov 2018
You don't mention in your profile what Moms health problems are? Why is she living with you?

If Dementia in involved hope you have POA. If she can no longer make informed decisions you can do it for her. First think would be sell her house. Find a nice AL or NH.

This is your home, she needs to respect you. Next time she gets started tell her you no longer will take her disrespect. She is living in your home because you are allowing it. If she is not happy, then you can make other arrangements. The arrangements will be determined by how much help she needs.

Ignoring her behaviour will not stop it. You need to set boundries or find her another place to live.
Teelee14 Nov 2018
She has her own house,my sister lives in it,she can't stand being under the same roof, you are right ignoring the behavior does not help at all,I have been dealing with this for long time, she is getting worse, this is my home,her actions are very selective,I made an appt with her PCP,I hope I can get her to go, her MD advised me to call crisis hot line, if it happens again,she is not approachable, and her baseline is fight mode! even on a good day
anonymous444729 Nov 2018
is it a particular time of day? or non stop? I don't know if I could handle that. I thought asking the same question 90 times was hard enough to deal with. Sounds like her Dr might need to know and maybe some sort of prescription may be appropriate. Is she angry about her situation or always been mean spirited? I could maybe understand having a hard time dealing with a terminal or depressing situation - best of luck to you
Againonlybetter Nov 2018
I agree, set boundaries. May I ask Anniepeepie, how do you deal with the question over and over? I too, have my mom who asks me the same question over and over and over, everyday. Most the time I answer it like it's the first, but after awhile or certain times, it gets to me.

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