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Raingirl Asked November 2018

So confused on what to do! Any advice?

My mom has been living with me and my family for 1 1/2 years now. She fell and broke her neck where she was living before, so that is why she moved in with me, and has healed from that. But since then she has gradually gone down hill physically. She just turned 89 years old, and had a very bad bleeding episode on Thanksgiving so I called an ambulance at her request.


I went to see her the same day and she was alert and fine. Feeling happy. Then the next day they said she tried to go to the bathroom by herself and passed out. She looked like she had a stroke, with the turned down side of her mouth and all. And she wasn't talking anymore, only mumbling. Sure enough she did have a stroke. So now she can't walk, talk, feed herself, or use the bathroom without Adult Depends on. They also lost her bottom dentures and she can no longer go to get any more, so she can't eat. Only liquids. I am so angry about that! Anyway they say they are going to get her on Speech and PT. I just don't know if this is going to work at her age. I just hate to put her through all that, but if anyone knows if this works, please let me know. I just don't know what I am going to do.


I don't have a POA for anything on her, and I have some nursing home papers that she needs to sign, before they can place her, if needed. But she can't write now. Really just had to let off some pressure, but any advice would be helpful.

JoAnn29 Nov 2018
The rehab and nursing home are one and the same where I live.

I do agree she needs therapy and speech therapy. This will help her recovery. Be aware, Medicare only pays 100% the first 20 days, 21 to 100, 50%, after that its private pay. Her supplimental may pay some of the cost. For my Mom it was 150 a day. If Mom doesn't have money for after the 20th day, tell the finance dept where she does her therapy, as soon as you see them. She may qualify for Medicaid.

If Mom has no problem making informed decisions, when all is said and done, you need to get POA.
Raingirl Nov 2018
Thank you. This is very helpful to know. I do believe she would have enough money to cover the 150 days if necessary. And yes, I am going to get the POA as soon as she is able to make that decision. Thank you again!
cwillie Nov 2018
The speech and language pathologist will be evaluating her ability to swallow so they can determine what she can eat safely without choking. I'm sorry about her lost teeth - that is infuriating! - but she may be able to eat all kinds if soft foods without teeth, lots of people do. The main concern right now is whether the stroke has reduced her ability to swallow properly (dysphagia) and if so whether or not there is hope of improvement.
Raingirl Nov 2018
Yes, they have done the swallow test and she has to only have thickened liquids. But they did give her mashed food today and she was really happy with that. It had a little taste to it. And you wouldn't believe! I went today to feed her, her lunch, and I just happened to think, I wonder if her teeth went under the couch in her room. And sure enough, there was the bottom denture. I washed it and gave it too her, and she was so happy. Now when they let her, she will be able to eat a cheeseburger like she wants.. I do believe she is getting better. They said she is eating really good, and for me too. Thank you!

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