How to deal with a gag reflex?

You can place a drop of peppermint or any other scented oil underneath your nose and breathe through your mouth instead of your nose. This is a technique nurses use and it is very effective. While it doesn't always block 100% of the smell, it makes it tolerable. To make it even more effective, place the oil on a surgical face mask.

Vick's Vapo-Rub works well under the nose as well. It's very powerful and you won't smell anything else.

Like the Vicks. Me, once Mom was done, I flushed the toilet then cleaned her up.

You answered your own question. You’re not going to be any help as a primary caregiver. Horrible job anyway you look at it. Short-term doable. Long-term destroys your spirit. Best to you; it’s a hard situation to be in.

I agree with using a mask. Breathing thru my mouth made me feel like I was taking even more of it in. You can put the scent on the mask and see if that works. I had the same problem dealing with vomit, but knew I had to get used to it. The mask helped and eventually I didn't have to use it anymore. Talking about something else, anything else, helps keep your mind focused elsewhere. Or, if you prefer to keep your mouth closed, hum a song (nursery rhymes are good and your patient may even join you!) Ultimately TIME will help; humans can get accustomed to almost anything when it's for a good cause. Blessings.

Find the stuff that one places under one's nose to mask odors in the morgue.
It is doable with the right tools to mask the smell. Google it:)

Can you afford to hire help to do it for you?

I totally understand how you feel. I do everything for bedridden hubby but feed him. I’ve often said if I wanted another baby, I would have birthed one. But it didn’t happen to work out that way.

I handle his fecal incontinence by simply holding my breath, breathing through my mouth. I’m assuming you wear rubber gloves? I also turn my mind off. I talk to him about our local sports teams, my job, the neighbors, etc. I use a plastic grocery bag and immediately stuff the briefs and wipes in there. I also use wet paper towels instead of wipes. They’re bigger. Before we know it, the job is finished. The problem with hiring someone is that bowel movements are unpredictable and health aides aren’t on call.

Doing things like this is a distasteful but necessary duty when you’re a caregiver.

I don't have this problem as a caregiver yet. But perhaps the problem isn't only the odor. For me, just looking at it makes me gag. Don't know how I got thru having babies - maybe the answer is that I was younger, and the loads were quite a lot smaller, and much easier to get at. what to do about that problem as well as the odor?

Had the same issue. Small, overheated bathroom with no exhaust fan. In the summer, I tried opening the small window a crack. Used a small, battery operated fan. Mom would fuss with the "window being open" as soon as she took notice of it. Would shiver and fuss about it the whole time while I would be trying to get the whole personal care accomplished after her bowel movement (Sweat rolling down my neck and into my eyes and the overpowering smell!). Could not leave the door open because the bathroom is on the first floor with windows all around and a direct view from the outside into the bathroom. (I use the shades up, daylight all around and TV playing to get her up in the morning.) I started using Poo Pourri spray on the surface of the water. Have to get it on there before the BM. The trade off is the scent of the spray, but it does contain the smell. There are recipes for home made spray on the internet, it would be a matter of choosing an essential oil that might be acceptable to you. I used to use a vanilla spray in my MIL room. It seemed to blend with the bitter smell and to make it somewhat less offensive. BTW, there are many, many other aspects of care taking that do not require poop clean up duties. I have found that money or time volunteered solve most problems.