You need to get back to work to secure your future. You are getting close to SS age and every penny counts towards the money you will receive. How is Moms income? If only SS and maybe a pension, then Medicaid maybe able to help with Homecare or even a Daycare. Office of Aging is a good start too. If Mom has some savings then use it for soomeone to be with her while you work.
You have to help yourself before you can be any help to your mom. That’s not selfish, it’s just true. Do what’s necessary to take care of yourself, whatever that looks like, and you’ll do your best for your mom. The advice already given by rocketjcat is solid, I hope you’ll take steps now
Sorry you’re feeling hopeless and depressed. It is a depressing situation we all seem to be in, trying to do the best we can for our elderly parents, with seeming no set of instructions or guidance. But doing “something” often times makes us feel more in control of the situation. You don’t say what your Moms infirmities are but I would start with her doctor and get a formal idea of her needed care. Contributors to the forum often also suggest getting a Needs Assessment done through your Office of the Aging. They can direct you to social services that may be available. If there’s a house involved, a call to a lawyer familiar with Medicaid law can guide you financially since it sounds like Medicaid may be in your future. Do you have POA? Is she competent enough to give it to you now? Handle that with the lawyer as well.
Just a bit of consolation...no one wants to put their loved one in a nursing home. The NHs are full of elderly who’s kids didn’t want to have to resort to it. But there they are. Sometimes the needs of the loved one have to take presidence over the wants. We’ve been forced into the thankless position of being the adult, when all we want is our old parents back, they way they used to be, and for us to be the kid again. Unfortunately it’s nots working out that way, and we must do the best we can. You need to get back in the workforce and look toward your own future. Your Mom would probably want that for you.
Thank you for the advice. I do have POA. We had an assement done 2 years ago the said she has to be down to 2 thousand dollars in her 401k before medicaid will help, that will be in about 6 months or so. Agency has not been very helpful. I dont even know how much home health care they will give her. Shes diabetic blind and can barely walk with her walker. I searched all over the internet to try to find help. I worked in a nursing home for 15 years and the care isnt good overall. They do a good job hiding it from the public and when investigators from the state come in. Thanks again
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How is Moms income? If only SS and maybe a pension, then Medicaid maybe able to help with Homecare or even a Daycare. Office of Aging is a good start too. If Mom has some savings then use it for soomeone to be with her while you work.
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Just a bit of consolation...no one wants to put their loved one in a nursing home. The NHs are full of elderly who’s kids didn’t want to have to resort to it. But there they are. Sometimes the needs of the loved one have to take presidence over the wants. We’ve been forced into the thankless position of being the adult, when all we want is our old parents back, they way they used to be, and for us to be the kid again. Unfortunately it’s nots working out that way, and we must do the best we can. You need to get back in the workforce and look toward your own future. Your Mom would probably want that for you.