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mmunk50 Asked December 2018

Inappropriate physical contact among clients in memory care. Any suggestions?

My dad lives in memory care unit. He has advanced dementia. A female client there confuses my dad with her husband. She is frequently holding his hand or touching him in some way. One time she kissed him.


On another note, my dad flirts with all of the women in his unit (clients, caregivers etc). I observed him recently touching every woman that walked by- putting his hand on their arm or shaking hands etc. he doesn’t realize it’s not appropriate.


The staff tries to keep the one female client away from my dad but they can’t always be policing her.


Dad’s wife is so upset by this situation. She comes to visit and creates a scene upsetting everyone. She takes her frustrations out in the staff. Any suggestions?

JoAnn29 Dec 2018
I think it would be good for his wife to read up on Dementia/ALZ. Maybe call Office of Aging to see if there is a Seminar she can attend. My GFs mother was very aware of what changes there would be but even then walked in on a woman kissing her husband. My GFs Mom left the facility in tears. She said she understood but its still hard.

My daughter will tell you this is very common. To the point that she had residents that thought they were married even though their spouses were visiting all the time. The brain is dying. He will eventually forget he has a wife. This is no reflection on his now wife. It happens and it will hurt her. But, she can't take it out on the staff. My daughter says her residents felt so strongly they were married that trying to separate them caused them to lash out.

gladimhere Dec 2018
Step mom needs to just relax. This is communication n in memory care facilities. If the contact provides comfort and care, so what.

People with dementia need to receive and give loving care too.

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