My elderly mom's caregiver works part time from Monday to Friday four hours in the morning and Sundays for five to six hours. She decided that she no longer wants to work on Sundays without giving me time to find someone to take her place. I asked her to give me some time to find a person and she is furious and says that she has to be with her daughter. My mom is very difficult lady and does not accept new people. The caregiver is taking advantage of the situation and knows that I cannot let her go. She does not want to be told what to do and basically thinks that she is the boss. If I make any remarks she does not want to hear about it. I am very frustrated and I feel that I have to tolerate this caregiver because of my mother's situation. I am always on call. Whenever the caregiver is sick or does not want to work on a certain day I have to cover her. I get very nervous on Sundays knowing that it is going to happen again. I would have liked to place my mom in a home but she made it very clear that she will never leave her home and got really angry when I mentioned it. I feel that I am being manipulated by her caregiver who is supposed to help. Feeling very awful.
5 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Do you live with Mom? Who is with her on the hours that there is no caregiver? I assume Mom can be left alone?
If Mom can be left alone, then I can see allowing her to stay in her home. But, if she can't be left alone then its time for at least an AL. But, if she can still make informed decisions then you cannot force her to move. Hopefully you have POA?
ADVERTISEMENT
If Mum has dementia, she loses her choice to continue to live in her own home if she cannot manage. If you are finding it too much to manage her care, care givers and your own work then you have the right to say enough is enough.
Yes, you are being manipulated but I think Mum is manipulating the situation. Mum is not accepting other carers. Mum is refusing to move into a place with more care available to her and less stress for you.