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Amyky19 Asked December 2018

Help! I live with my grandpa and he gets really angry and offensive at times, other times he's really loving and happy. What does this mean?

He’s around 70 years old, he’s been like this for years but more recently it’s been back and forth between being really happy and really angry, he yells over dumb things like toilet paper being rolled down too much or a little crumbs. He also does things that he doesn’t need to do and then complains about doing them. He offends me and my other family memebers a lot. I’m only 19 I don’t know much about older people but I just want to know what’s going on with him so I know how to deal with it. Not gonna lie I argue back with him when he gets angry and starts argument, I try to avoid him all the time, and sometimes he really gets under my skin and makes me angry or really upset. I just wanna know what’s going on with him and how to deal with it

MargaretMcKen Dec 2018
You want to know what's going on, and probably only the doctor can say. Have you asked your parents? They may not be giving you the whole story that they know themselves. He's not very old at age 70, but dementia can bring on these sorts of problems. Arguing probably won't do either of you any good. You need to set boundaries about what you will do for him and what verbal abuse you will tolerate. Then you just say no, or leave the room. He shouldn't be your responsibility, and he is not your choice of house mate. Lower your 'loving' expectations and keep it cool. Among other things, it will make the house a calmer place and improve life for your parents.

Ahmijoy Dec 2018
Has your grandfather been tested and evaluated for dementia? If his behavior is really “off” suddenly, he should probably also be tested for a bladder infection.

You aren't helping the situation by arguing with him, especially if he does have dementia. You say he’s always been “testy”, but it may be time to suggest to your parents that grandfather goes to his doctor. There are medications that can help with his mood swings.

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