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Catherine123 Asked December 2018

My mother in law is late stage dementia and is getting very bloated when fed. Her food is pureed and she is on a drip. Is she near the end?

A priest came up this morning and gave her a blessing I'm worried she is nearing the end. We are not ready to lose her.

JoAnn29 Dec 2018
Sorry for your loss.

BarbBrooklyn Dec 2018
i'm so sorry for your loss, Catherine.

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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2018
May your family receive grieving mercies and comfort for your loss.

Hugs!

Karsten Dec 2018
Catherine: Very sorry. I went though the same thing earlier in the year and know how it brings out feelings beyond words.

I guess I did learn we are never ready. My dad died at 93 and his 97 yo brother died a year ago. My cousins said they were not ready then.

Point is, and I still struggle with this, we are never ready and there was never a point where we feel we have done all we can and are ready. Maybe there is, I have talked to some people who say they were ready especially as the parent was in such bad shape for so long they were relieved to see the parent n longer on pain. But in general I think its normal to think we are never ready.

Takincare Dec 2018
I am so very sorry for your loss. Even tho we know to expect it, part of us holds out hope for a different outcome. Remember the good times and the love you shared. You and your family are in my prayers.

Catherine123 Dec 2018
My mother in law passed away this morning
Ahmijoy Dec 2018
I’m so sorry. Sending sympathy and understanding. ❤️
Catherine123 Dec 2018
Thank you for your answers

JoAnn29 Dec 2018
I don't mean to be rude or blunt. But Mom is 87 in the later stage of Dementia. This means she is probably incontinent and in her own little world. She has been thru so much. If this is her time then let her go. Let her final days be comfortable and free of discomfort. Tell her she can let go that you will be alright.

JoAnn29 Dec 2018
I just read the bloating comes from the stomach very slowly emptying. So slowly that they rarely feel hungry. I think you should call her PCP. Her body may not be able to absorb food. Her body maybe shutting down.

Isthisrealyreal Dec 2018
Ready or not and I personally do not believe we can ever prepare for the loss of a loved one. They can be sick for years and their death comes as a shock. We all die, but it is what we did while living that matters. She obviously loved a great deal and that will never leave you. You will always have her and her love and wisdom in your hearts. This could be the end. None of us are promised tomorrow, so live today as though it were her last. Everyday!

If she is not wanting to eat, don't force her, it could be very unpleasant if her body is shutting down and not digesting the food. If she wants to eat, I would cut down on the fiber and focus more on protein and fats. These won't bloat her as much as fiber, they also produce less waste, so you know. They will keep her full longer and make her feel more satisfied with less consumption.

Great big hugs to you, you will get through this. She will be missed but always loved.

Ahmijoy Dec 2018
I’m so sorry. It’s never easy to lose someone you love so much, and this time of year makes it even harder. I lost my mom two years ago, two days before Thanksgiving and I’ll never look at that holiday the same again. Unfortunately, this is something you have no control over. The priest is a good one to help you deal with this. This is part of his calling.

Im sending my sympathies and hoping you find some peace with this.

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