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anonymous810351 Asked December 2018

How dose one have a friendship with others after having been a caregiver for years without feeling guilty, especially with the opposite sex?

I have no car, house, apt. and almost everything gone from our previous life together. I live with my daughter and her family presently and SS will not be enough for rent in this area. I needed all the money from our SS to place her in assisted living which she no longer is in. She has Alz/Dementia, on hospice care, bedridden, is in Rehab with stage 3 wound on foot. We have been waiting for Medicare and Medicaid to stop fighting where the money is to pay her AL bill. There is no public trans available. Daughter gives the car one day a week for Dr. apts etc and Sundays are out and no friends left due to disease. I need to have a social life to help.


Car is out due to ruined credit because of this. Go to a Psychiatrist and social worker also. Going to caregivers meetings and getting there is difficult as have to take a cab(nearby).


My religion has a church in area but would cost to much for a cab and church has no trans. Stuck!

TNtechie Dec 2018
When you get back to mall walking be sure to ask if anyone lives out your way - they may be very willing to give you a ride to/from the mall on days they walk too.

cwillie Dec 2018
Getting out of the rut is the first step - go to the library, the mall, a coffee shop or seniors centre where people hang out, even if it is just to sit on the edge of the crowd and people watch. Learn how to use Uber, it should be cheaper than a taxi during off hours, or try public transit.
Just go outside for exercise, a walk around the block can help clear your mind and energize you (not to mention it's good for your health too)
Have you tried reaching out to your old friends? They may have drifted away because of your inability to spend time with them but may be willing to reconnect.
Have you mentioned to your church that you need help with transit? There may be someone who would gladly give you a ride.
anonymous810351 Dec 2018
Great suggestions.  Our close friends, believe it or not have moved out of the area.  I have no family, except 3 of our 4 daughters and they work out of the area.
Did mall walking before my wife got ill and met a lot of friends, so will try to go to the mall early when I have the car.  Forgot about that.  Thanks.
I haven't gone to any church yet, but will call the one i'm interested in to see. 
 I walk my neighborhood almost daily, andhave dropped almost 20lbs in 3mos.
Thanks,
Barney

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