Oh no. Director of nursing for memory care says our mom is being disruptive to other patients at night. Any advice?

The night nurse at rehab enlisted DW's help in rolling another patient around the facility. Under direct and hands on supervision. Wife thought she was doing a good thing and the nurse was able to deal with two disruptive patients at the same time. The nurse actually did most of the pushing and changes in direction.
Both patients became calm and went to bed happy, nurse got her work done and was happy also.
Some nurses are really creative while still being nurses.

Then they have to solve the problem. Ask that she be given a sleeping pill or anxiety meds. A DON can contact the Doctor affiliated with the facility and have him prescribe something. This is why she is in MC.

The DON may have just be keeping you up on Moms care. They are the professions and should be able to solve problems. This is not unusual with a Dementia patient.

That happens. The people sometimes don't know where they are or won't give up on wanting to go home. Imagine having so little control over your life. Anyone would be upset. My mom has been found on a couch in the common living space at 2 am, sleeping curled with the stuffed animal she brought along from her room. And yesterday another lady wandered into my mom's room while I was there. She stayed and chatted with us and obviously had no idea where she was or how to get back to her own room. It was cute, but sad. One lady kept convincing my mom to take off down the street with her to get wine. If your mom disrupts, the care givers will have to come up with ways to calm her. That's their job. It may go on for a while, but she will eventually forget and be at home there.

I agree that they need to come up with a solution. This is not uncommon for NH patients. The nursing home called me late one night and told me mom was in the hall crying very loud and they could not get her to go back to her room. I told them that if I came to the NH she would not listen to me which is true. I told them to tell her that they called me and that I would be there tomorrow to speak to her. Apparently, she then went to her room and to bed. The next day she did not remember it happening. They called again last night and said she was ringing the call bell continually because she thought it was calling me. I told them to tell her the same thing. So maybe she just needs reassurance. They could tell her something similar. Also, if you speak with the doctor they can give her non narcotic meds that will chill her out. My mother was getting very aggressive when I visited. She was verbally abusive and would throw things. The doctor prescribed medicine to calm her down. She still has moments, but not as many.

when they sleep all day, they will sundown at night. I keep my mom awake during the day and she does indeed sleep all night even with her end-stage Alzheimer's. and she is not on a single psychotropic or narcotic.

Ask the Director what they expect you to do.

Same thing here. Used to get calls at 3am. The other residents on her floor all had to close their doors so as not to hear her yelling! Some nurses were better at calming her down then others. One in particular calmly took my mother with her and had her sit at the nurses station for a few hours before returning her to her room. I stayed there a few nights a week to be a familiar face and even brought in her former at home caregivers. After much discussion with her doctor they decided a mild anti-anxiety med might help. Took about 2 weeks to kick in but she’s much calmer now. Still not an all night sleeper but no more calls in the middle of the night.

Well my dear Mama has not given up wanting to go home from hospital to memory care. This has been going on for a very long time. Everytime I go visit that is the first thing she wants from me. Redirect over and over,Change the subject, meds etc. It is only the evening sundowning that is so bad. She walks by herself but turns into a fall risk with too many meds. The new MC is much better at keeping her active in the day and better at redirecting her. When she says she wants to go home, it is not the home she lived in with my daddy for 50 years but her childhood home. She wants her brothers and sisters. They have all passed away as she was the baby. You will read all of these same problems in here over and over. I still get calls but not near as many now. But when it is happening to you and yours it seems so awful doesn't it? My mama lived at every nurses station every place she went! Just wanted you to know you are not alone here! Grace and Peace for all of us in this New Year.

Dear Segoline,
You know I forgot to say my mama got kicked out of memory care at the first place. She also was sent 3 times to a behavioural hospital from there. This also turned out to be a wonderful blessing. She is on some low dose meds that have really helped her. I was very against drugs but nobody wants a parent unhappy either all the time. Some circumstances and people just call for them. My mama was a toddler class Sunday School teacher for 50 years. I try to think of what she used to say.....This too shall pass!

It is hard to see them cry and beg to come home. My Mom did that once. So, one of the staff called me and put her on the phone. And she sobbed and cried it was horrible. For them to put you through that is wrong. I told the girl to give my Mom something to calm her down and talk to her or something. It s their job. To this day I hear my Mother cry and it breaks my heart.