My husband is bedridden. He has 2 sisters and one living brother. We’ve had no contact with them for years. I saw them at a get together my son had and none of them even bothered to ask me how he was. My son is in contact with his cousin and she told him her mother and aunt were out and about one day and wanted to stop by. I was horrified. I promptly told,him to tell his cousin to tell her mother and aunt that they were not welcome here. I want nothing to do with them.
Smart, quick response. I am learning too that we should not be afraid to "hold our ground" and set clear parameters. As Caregivers we must preserve our physical and emotional energy... Thanks for sharing your experience Ahmijoy. Happy New Year, as we take life literally, ONE DAY AT A TIME... Stay strong and positive. It is uplifting to be understood and cared for at this forum!
People who were toxic to your husband are reaching out to reestablish a relationship with him? With you both? The question is a little confusing.
If your husband is deep in dementia, I doubt his family can hurt him anymore. If they were toxic to you, I wouldn't invite any additional stress into my life if I were you. Keep them posted on his condition via email and don't encourage visits.
If your husband isn't "there" anymore, it's really too late for them to get any positive resolution to their relationship. That's sad -but it's not your place to fix it.
Thank you Marcia7321 for your response. Yes they were toxic to us both, many years ago. I decided not to reconnect. I also have a responsibility to protect myself too, which I am now realizing. God bless you and all the Caregivers of this forum!
I am going to assume that Husband didn't have a good relationship with his family before his Dementia? If so, why are they reaching out now?
Do you feel you need to protect yourself and husband from these people? If you reconnected, would you get help and support or just criticism? Is there an ulterior motive on their part, like money. There have been stories on this forum where a sibling thinks they trump the persons child. They feel they are entitled to something which is not so.
I appreciate your insightful take on the situation JoAnn29. You posed a good question. I do not know their motives. I have no time or energy to find out. My plate is full. What will I get from this reunion, or my husband who is too far gone to understand? This is a risky business. I decided not to do it. Blessings to you and to this valuable group!
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Thanks for sharing your experience Ahmijoy. Happy New Year, as we take life literally, ONE DAY AT A TIME... Stay strong and positive. It is uplifting to be understood and cared for at this forum!
Your husband is vulnerable now.
I truly believe toxic family can destroy you by dividing you.
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If your husband is deep in dementia, I doubt his family can hurt him anymore. If they were toxic to you, I wouldn't invite any additional stress into my life if I were you. Keep them posted on his condition via email and don't encourage visits.
If your husband isn't "there" anymore, it's really too late for them to get any positive resolution to their relationship. That's sad -but it's not your place to fix it.
I apologize if I have misunderstood the question.
I decided not to reconnect. I also have a responsibility to protect myself too, which I am now realizing. God bless you and all the Caregivers of this forum!
I am going to assume that Husband didn't have a good relationship with his family before his Dementia? If so, why are they reaching out now?
Do you feel you need to protect yourself and husband from these people? If you reconnected, would you get help and support or just criticism? Is there an ulterior motive on their part, like money. There have been stories on this forum where a sibling thinks they trump the persons child. They feel they are entitled to something which is not so.
So, we need some background to be able to help.
Blessings to you and to this valuable group!