My mom is in early stage of dementia but is already making up things...well lying about me. How do I deal with her?

I can relate as my Dad did/does the same. He calls me a liar and thief. And i too remember he is not himself. But he also refuses to take medications so now that his behavior has gotten worse, i no longer see him. It is very hard situation. It is a good idea to keep notes.

I went through the same thing with my mother who I live with. This is what I did and it may seem a bit much, I wrote down everything that she said to me that was a lie or when she was accusing me of abusing her and/or stating that I was not paying my share of the bills.(I dated & wrote the time when it happen). I also recorded her verbal abuse and when she was saying sweet and loving things. I also made and still do copies all the cks I write for my share of bills. I document everything! This is not to show her nor does she even know I do it. But it is to have proof of what is really going on if some one comes knocking on my door accusing me of doing or not doing something. As my dad use to say, "cover your butt at all times".

Now, the hard part is, how do you emotional handle the lies, the hurt feelings. I use to just tell myself this is not my real mother. As I learned on this forum her brain is broken; therefore, that is what I would tell myself. "She has a broken brain."

I did finally got in contact with my mother's Dr explain what was going on and she was dx with vascular dementia. He put her on meds, and now she is very different. She has calm down.

Contact her Dr asap! This will help more than you realize.

I wish you the best of luck!

Definitely talk to the doctor, who needs to know that it isn't correct that you are abusing her.

I feel for you. My parents both have dementia and this is a classic symptom. It’s not easy to deal with and can be very stressful to say the least because the person with dementia can come across so well to others that they are often believed. I used to argue the toss with mine but quickly learned that it made things worse. They really believe what they are saying at the time. When either my mum or dad starts saying lies to my face or becomes accusing without cause I just walk away and say I’ll come back and talk later, redirect them towards some other activity or change the subject. That’s all we can do really and try not to take it personally. I also try and make others aware that they make up tales and then start to believe them. Your mum won’t remember the truth at the time but these episodes may become fewer as time goes on. This certainly became the case with mine. The Dr might be worth contacting as well because there are drugs that can help settle these delusions, for that is what they are, and the drugs do work. The Dr might have to tweak them until he finds an appropriate dose but this would also calm your mum down too. Good luck and hugs to you.