Wife refusing hospice aide's help for bath. She says she knows what to do but doesn’t do it?

You may need to help out the aide. Offer your assistance in setting out towels, running the bath, etc. she may feel more comfortable with the aide if you are also participating. Give her no choice. Tell her a few minutes “warning”, go run her bath and then firmly lead her into the bathroom. Keep a robe or large towel handy to preserve her modesty.