My cousin in MD is having a dilemma in getting her Dad into a nursing home in Wash D.C. How can we resolve this impasse?

The hospital must release Jerry into a safe situation. Just having dementia does not mean you cannot live at home- or even alone! If they are requiring his daughter to care for him then they are admitting he cannot live alone, so that's good. He won't just be discharged to independent living.

His daughter needs to make it clear that the family cannot provide the care he needs. He then needs to be evaluated to see what level of support he will require and a safe placement needs to be found.

Each state has its own yardstick for what makes someone medically qualified for nursing home care. If your family can afford it, we found the advice of an Aging Life Specialist extremely helpful when discussing discharge plans and choosing a care facility. Check out Aginglifecare.org for someone in your area.

If that is not an option for your family, be aware that the hospital's social work department is going to try to get the discharge that is the easiest for them to accomplish. The family needs to be involved in the choices of discharge. If your Uncle is qualified for a Medicaid placement, they can choose a placement anywhere within 50 miles. He will need an advocate to get the best placement.

This is hard. Best of luck going forward.

She says NO! He needs more care than she is willing and able to provide.

Get the social worker at the hospital involved to find appropriate placement.

Start with requesting rehab which will often become a permanent placement.

Say NO!