How long did your loved one last after they stopped eating?

Oh, how I feel for you. My Dad was in Hospice. He knew what was going to happen. Tried to give me warning so I could prepare my Mom. Who knew at the time because I surely didn't.  Maybe just take it day to day. I get that's not much help. But some things we just don't understand. And we maybe aren't meant to? Just know, you are not alone in this journey. Sometimes there are no answers, and we just have to go with how it goes.

Mottled skin has the appearance of blotchiness. Typically, in the case of the dying it is bluish in color - maybe even and purple or dark red. It can also appear on the hands, forearm and calves.

If you want to know the basic signs of “transitioning” - that’s what the hospice folk call the beginnings of the body shutting down when death is near - or nearish- try googling “signs of death” and talk to your hospice nurse. There are changes in breathing, oxygen levels and eye appearance as well as the blotching.

Not all the signs appear in everyone.

Still - for me at least, I found it comforting and reassuring to know what to expect as my mother began her journey.

Once my mother stopped eating entirely and was only kept minimally hydrated, she lived two weeks, in a deep sleep for the most part. Blessings to you as you go through this

My mom went into a hospice care facility and got agitated to leave (she had dementia). I told them to give her only meds for pain and sedation. They had to heavily sedate her after two days - she slept for 5 days under sedation with no meals and died 7 days after being admitted. She was 94 and would not want to continue to live in her condition, so she was at peace. The nurse had told me to check the bottom of her feet each day for “mottled appearance” - it’s one of the first signs that a patient is dying - she had mottled feet the night before she died. I wish you and your family a hasty and peaceful retreat from the agony you have been suffering. Take care.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. This is a sad time and a hard thing to watch.

I hope this will be a more comforting way to look at it. The body starts to wind down and stops wanting food. It's that way round, rather than that your mother isn't getting enough nourishment to keep her going.

I appreciate that having no idea of how long this phase will go on is a whole little extra torment on its own. I wish there were any way to know, but there just isn't. You can, if it helps to scratch the itch, find out her Base Metabolic Requirement which will tell you how many calories she burns each day ticking over, but I'm not sure it's the right thing to focus on.

Her enjoying her cocoa and ice cream and broth is much more important. If she is comfortable and wants for nothing, you are getting this right.

Im estimating it was about three months that my mother “ate” similarly to what you describe. Mainly, she sipped liquids but had lost the ability to actually eat - for the most part.

Mom spent the vast majority of her time sleeping and as such - expending very little energy - her hospice doctor said she could exist like that for months. Which she did.

Its very difficult to see this kind of slow, slow wasting away - them disappearing before your eyes. But, at least in my moms case - she didn’t seem to be in any pain and really - not even uncomfortable. Still, it was quite a disturbing shock to see “malnutrition” listed first as “cause of death” on her death certificate.

Best wishes to you during this difficult time.

My mother was 99 and a resident in Memory Care when she stopped eating or drinking. She died peacefully eight days later in a Hospice House.

She is doing nothing to expend energy, so she could very well be getting enough.

She is obviously headed down hill, I am sorry you are loosing your mom. May she go peacefully and may God grant you grieving mercies and strength through this time.

Hugs!

My mother lasted about two or three days, but she was taking nothing but enough water to wet her mouth.