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Wandar Asked February 2019

What do I do when my mother with dementia accuses me of taking her credit card and threatens to throw me out of the house?

My mother has early onset dementia. If you didn't know her you wouldn't be able to tell that anything is wrong until she started to talk like a truck driver. She is very manipulative and super mean. This is not the mother I grew up with. She went to her doctor saying I threaten to hurt her if she doesnt let me use her car. He called the police. Also I have lived with her in the family home for many years. I pay all of the bills and buy the food. I do all of the cleaning and cooking but she still yells at me and threatened to have me evicted. I don't know what to do. I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my whole world. I want to leave but I fear my greedy sisters will run in and take all she has left. They have stolen from her before and are being nice to her now after not speaking to her for over 15 yrs. Help where do I turn?

freqflyer Feb 2019
Wandar, has your Mom been tested for a Urinary Tract Infection? Such an infection can cause some people to be out of control, yelling, etc. The infection can be treated with antibiotics.

I am appalled that your Mom's doctor called the police on you. That tells me her doctor is NOT familiar with how dementia works. I also assumed the doctor didn't try different medications that would help your Mom be calmer. Time to find another doctor, preferably a doctor who specializes in geriatrics.

Eyerishlass Feb 2019
You could see a lawyer about getting your mom's assets tamper-proof from your sisters. Have the lawyer create some kind of account that your siblings won't have access to. But someone would need access other than your mom which would keep you tethered to her.

Can you move out and find a place of your own nearby? That way you can keep an eye on your mom and her finances but you won't be living with her.

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