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anonymous844677 Asked February 2019

OK so now what?

My father went to the ER last week.He had a lot of fluid taken out of his stomach (7 liters) . I received a call from his doctor and she says that samples of the fluid contains cancer. She said that it is pretty wide spread or so she thinks. I know that my dad doesn't want to go through chemo (He's 91 with stage 1 dementia) Should I just make dad comfortable and on hospice until his time or what? All answers will be considered. God Bless
Bobby

anonymous844677 Feb 2019
He's on Medicaid.
Does Medicaid have a hospice program?

anonymous844677 Feb 2019
Thanks for all of your posts I know and feel that you have been down this road before.My dad's ER doctor said to let me think on dad's status for a week before decisions are made. Again I thank you all for your input and wisdom.
Bobby

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Shane1124 Feb 2019
If he were my dad, I would get hospice in place ASAP. They will help keep him comfortable.

As his liver disease progresses (you’ve said there are cancer cells in his fluid) your father will be more & more fatigued.

It sounds like your father is reaching the end of his life. Hospice will help get the entire family through this with their resources.

Please have your father’s PCP or GI doc write a rx for hospice for evaluation & treatment to assist your father and keep him comfortable on his final journey.

Grandma1954 Feb 2019
I would contact Hospice and let them help you, your dad and the rest of the family through this tough time.
They will make sure your dad is comfortable.
They will provide you with the supplies and equipment that you need to help him and yourself.
You will have a nurse that will come once a week, more often if it is necessary. You will have a CNA that will come in and help a few days a week, a Social Worker, a Chaplain if you wish and volunteers that you can call upon if you need a break or if your dad just wants someone to visit.
Since your dad is in the fairly early stages of dementia have you talked to him about what he wants or is he not able to process the information? I know even early in his diagnosis when my husband was presented with some information it would become overwhelming for him and he could not process his thoughts about what he wanted.

((hugs)) for you and your dad.

Gershun Feb 2019
bobbychet I'm so sorry you are having to deal with something like this. I think you, your dad, and your dad's medical team should have a discussion. Your dad is stage 1 dementia so I'm assuming he is still sound enough mentally to understand what is discussed.

But in order for you to have peace of mind with your decision you owe it to yourself and your father to discuss this thoroughly with the doctors before you and your father make up your mind about anything.

Please keep us posted.

Tothill Feb 2019
My step dad was 84 when he died of metastasized cancer in Nov 2018. He had dementia too. At one point the doctors were suggesting chemo or other treatment, but Mum said no. He had an Advanced Directive and was clear in his wishes prior to the dementia.

He was in the hospital for about 6 weeks before he died, There was talk about sending him home with Palliative care, but there was no way Mum at 84 could have managed that. In the end he died peacefully in hospital. He was given low doses of morphine for the pain.

I know my mother, who does have her wits about her, would never agree to what she refers to as 'Heroic Measures' either.

David did have CT and which showed his abdomen was full of cancer. In the last couple weeks, he was getting nodules on his skin too. A biopsy was done, not to provide any treatment for him, but for research purposes, to see if they could determine the original cancer source. Mum clearly told the doctors she did not want the results.

Toadhall Feb 2019
Please have a more detailed conversation with the doctor about the decision. At this point I'm thinking that chemo may actually shorten his life and would certainly make it more unpleasant. This is what you can address with the doctor. The doctor would be the one to decide if he is eligible for hospice. If he is, please know that there are many benefits to hospice. I encourage you to come back with any other question you have.

FarmJelly Feb 2019
Bless his heart. That sounds awful. Definitely call in hospice. There’s a great book called “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande that you may find encouraging.

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