Can I care for my father in a 55+ park?

There was a case here, not the same as yours but where a person was forced to sell a condo she inherited in a over 55 building. She wanted to live in it, but the strata council said no.

The land owner is not overriding the doctor. Your Dad has other options, he can sell move into an assisted living building, move in with you etc.

Also at 26 think long and hard and read various posts here on how challenging it is to care for someone 24/7.

At 26 years old, I would advise you not to become your father's 24/7 caregiver. If he's only 50, he could live a good long while yet and you are too young to tie yourself to that role. You're bound to have things you want to do over the next few years and being a full time caretaker would not allow that. Maybe move to a place nearby where you can drop in on him every day or spend the night occasionally if he's particularly ill. I wouldn't think the landlord could object to that. If your dad's sugar is so far out of control, maybe it's time to see an endocrinologist rather than his PCP for treatment - someone who specializes in diseases such as diabetes is bound to be able to get it under better control. With good control, he could do more for himself and wouldn't need 24/7 care. It's definitely not a good idea to make an invalid of him at only 50 years old. He needs to continue caring for himself as long as possible. If you do everything for him, he won't. Maybe seek the advice of a social worker as far as managing his care if he cannot work. A social worker may have some excellent suggestions for care programs that would be low or no-cost that your father could take advantage of.

I find your statement that your Dad is “too young” for a nursing home interesting. People often have the misconception that nursing homes are places that old people go to die. However, when my mother lived in one, there were more than a few people who were residents there. One man in particular was in his mid-forties. Younger people become residents of nursing homes because it’s medically necessary. They receive medical care from 3 shifts of trained caregivers 24/7. The staff knows what to look for and what to do if something concerning happens and because of this, a crisis can be averted.

Tothill brings up a very valid observation. Your father has a lot of serious medical issues, and while, to your credit, you did remain calm during this latest episode, with your father’s issues, I’m afraid these episodes may become more and more frequent. And, I’d be concerned about his care from his doctor. During this latest episode, it sounds like his doctor was clueless. If you are going to be your father’s sole caregiver, you need a medical support system you can count on.

Also, consider that you will be putting your life on hold for an unpredictable number of years to care for him. If you have no job skills now, it will be very difficult to obtain them if you are in your thirties or forties. In addition, if you don’t have any income for your caregiving years, you probably won’t be able to afford schooling to obtain a good paying job. You will have no health insurance and no retirement fund. You also will probably have no social life. These are all things to consider before you make the “Noble Promise” to care for your father.

Dad is too young for the community because he's riding on the tails of grandmother, who has a second under 55 living with her. Then you are really pushing the limits here. It's also a bad idea for you to care for him 24/7 and give up your life. You really cannot get a job overnight when you are working 16 hours with him. He needs his own subsidized housing and Medicaid carers.

Suggest you review your Dad's lease carefully. There should be some provisions for guests and others moving into the home. Since you will be living there in a caregiver role, I doubt the 55 age requirement can be applied. Make sure you have a caregiver contract that documents your "caregiver" status. Take the caregiver contract and lease contract with the doctor's letter to an attorney and ask his opinion. Local attorneys provide a couple of free clinics here monthly (one sponsored by the area counsel on aging).

If there are other under 55 living in the park currently, I would encourage you to document them. If it comes to it, you might be able to use selective enforcement as a defense against eviction.

Although your father does have the option of moving his home, this might be considered an undue burden since it would cost at least $20,000. You might consider getting an estimate to have if you ever need to defend yourself and your father from eviction.

Hi, you are to be commended for wanting to care for your very ill father.
The problem that I see is that you are a 26-year old woman wanting to move in full time into a 55+ community to do so. These retirement communities have regulations for a reason. Other people in the community will see you coming and going, and they won't know what your relationship is to your father. They may well assume that you are his girlfriend. They will think, Well, if that old guy can have a live-in girlfriend, then I can, too! Only their gf may have a child, or two or three. And then suddenly it's not a 55+ community any more, where people have come to live for peace and quiet in their retirement years. It's just a normal, noisy neighborhood.
So the neighborhood board is probably going to be sympathetic to your dad's needs, but unable to accommodate them. You and he will have to make other arrangements to meet his health needs. Sell the house and buy another in a neighborhood without restrictions, or move into an apartment; move him into a nursing home where he can benefit from round-the-clock professional health care and you can visit any time; or consider some of the other options suggested here. My advice to you, dear, is to do what you can to provide as well as you can for your father's care, but do not allow his poor health to swallow up your life.
I wish you well, my dear, and your father as well.

Legally, you can be a live-in caregiver to your father. Statistically, nationwide 80% of 55+ community households have a resident under the age of 55 years-old. I have read through some of the advice on this page and wonder if some write for the sake of writing. You are better off with no advice, than bad advice. The land owner has no say in this situation, it is a 'reasonable accommodation'. He may not like it, but he has no say in the matter. Also, check your father's lease. Does it state that NO ONE under the age of 55 years can reside in the home? I would be surprised if it did. Regardless, it does not change the fact that you can be a live-in caregiver. FYI, I am a social worker employed by a housing authority.

Wow, the land owner sounds like a charming little man.

I am sure that others have young caregivers, most over 55s don't do hands on care in home, I know there are many but from my experience they are younger. This can not be a new case scenario for the landlord. I think that you should talk to a social worker and ask for the Florida Revised Statutes that governor laws for in home care and age restrictive properties. Then when you are sure that you are within the legal boundaries, move in.

You know that you have to be a quiet tenant and not have a boyfriend with a Harley that has modified pipes blaring through the neighborhood 😎, that is the biggest concern for these places, peace and quiet with a sense of security. My point being you don't want to give the landlord any justifiable reason to evict your dad.

If you have never been a 24/7 caregiver, can I recommend that you try to do what you plan for a week or two, do your thing for dad, then go some place and be busy for 8 hours, come home and do it again. It is not as easy as it sounds, I would hate for you to find out to late that you can't live with the plan and then you feel stuck and angry.

I hope it works out for you and your dad.

Bottom line is dad needs to move. It's not right to try to force a whole community to change their rules because you want them to. Move dad's mobile home to another park without restrictions. He will be fine.

The owner may have to allow you to live with your father as a care taker as a areasonable accommodation for disability under the fair housing act.

Sample request letters: https://www.mainelse.org/sites/default/files/DRCSampleLetters.pdf

QUOTE: t is a violation of the Fair Housing Act for any person to refuse to make a reasonable accommodation in rules, policies, practices, or services, when such accommodations may be necessary to afford a handicapped person equal opportunity to use and enjoy a dwelling unit, including public and common use areas.107 This means that the manager of an apartment complex must allow an exception to a rule or policy if it would afford a disabled tenant an equal opportunity to use and enjoy an apartment at the complex. An accommodation that permits disabled tenants to experience the full benefit of tenancy must be made unless the accommodation imposes an undue financial or administrative burden on a housing provider or requires a fundamental alteration in the nature of its program.108 

With regard to a disabled tenant or disabled applicant’s reasonable accommodation request, the owner or manager of the apartment complex can request verification that the tenant or applicant is disabled and needs the requested accommodation to use and enjoy the apartment or community. However, the owner or manager cannot request information about the nature, extent, or severity of a person’s disability. Furthermore, if after a disabled tenant makes a reasonable accommodation request, the housing provider delays responding to the request, after a reasonable amount of time, that delay may be construed as a failure to provide a reasonable accommodation.

EXAMPLE# 1:
A blind person who utilizes a guide dog applies to rent a one bedroom unit at an apartment complex. The apartment complex has a “no pets” policy, but the blind applicant qualifies for the one bedroom unit. Without the guide dog, the blind person would not have an equal opportunity to use and enjoy an apartment at the complex. Therefore, the owner or manager of the apartment complex must make an exception to the “no pets” policy and allow the blind person to live in the apartment with the guide dog.

NOTE:
The owner or manager of the apartment complex would also have to waive the “no pets” policy for a disabled applicant that has a different type of service animal or support animal. Service animal means any guide dog, signal dog, or other animal individually trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of an individual with a disability, including, but not limited to, guiding individuals with impaired vision, alerting individuals with impaired hearing to intruders or sounds, providing minimal protection or rescue work, pulling a wheelchair, or fetching dropped items.109 A support animal means any animal that provides a therapeutic or psychological aid to a person, due to their disability.

http://www.accessiblehousing.org/rights/accommodations.asp