Why wait till after Dad passed to make an accusation against me that you claim Dad told you somewhere between 5-10 yrs. ago?

Did your dad use a tax preparer to file his taxes? If so, they would have copies in their files of all of the documentation provided to them. If not, maybe there is a way to get copies from the IRS?

Were you living with your father and providing hands-on caregiving? What does the will say, and how much money is involved? If the estate were divided four ways, then why would there be anything for your daughter?

You say this brother lives with you. Does he contribute towards his upkeep (room and board) in any way? Surely you don't provide hands-on caregiving for him, too? You say it is your calling, but are you sure that's YOUR idea of your calling, or your father's misguided idea of your calling (since he's the one who wanted you to do it)? "Dad told me to do and get for him whatever he needed or wanted" doesn't sound like the calling is coming from your perspective. Maybe Dad should have been taking care of his own son instead?

You separated from your husband and believing you would therefore need to arrange your own health cover you applied for Medassist. At that point it was explained to you that your being a signatory to your father's bank accounts implied that your income (even though it was your father's income) made you ineligible; so you and your father organised a power of attorney so that you could continue to manage his finances for him; but then you didn't need the Medassist after all because your cover under your estranged husband's insurance continued.

Net result: continued health insurance for you as was, but now a notarised POA instead of shared bank account, as a kind of side-effect. Anything I've misunderstood?

The point being that your father was perfectly happy to trust you with the spending of his money and didn't want anything tinkered with; and had it not been for the - as it turned out, redundant - Medassist application that situation would have continued to your father's complete satisfaction.

Your father was in fact comfortable with this arrangement for nearly twenty years, all told; and there were no financial problems, and nobody questioned it, and all was well.

Then after you lost your father, and that is always a low point in anybody's life, his will stated... what? What set the cat among the pigeons?

When did your father make his will? Who handled this for him?

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the idea of your brother's attempting to contest the will on the grounds that your father was too confirmed a racist to recognise his adoptive granddaughter. You can't libel the dead, so there is no remedy for his repellant accusation against his own father, unfortunately; but the very idea that this argument would carry any weight with a court in the 21st century would be hysterical if it weren't so contemptible.

Now then. You do have a problem and you must seek legal advice about how to handle it.

Your father's approach was one of straightforward and absolute trust in you. That, especially because it went on for so very long, is a sort of testimony in your favour; but.

His money, he could do as pleased with it, no need to change anything, nobody's business but his: all of these things are fine, and true. The difficulty you have is twofold.

One: none of his arguments actually stopped you keeping records. You could have kept detailed and complete records without in any way challenging his right to privacy or freedom of action or anything else. He may have felt there was no need, but how could it have hurt to do it?

And Two: you knew there was a need. You read and understood the requirements of the POA. I can't see any legal authority being too impressed with your father's argument that his wishes overrode your legal responsibilities. Personally, I'm not too impressed that your father wilfully refused to see the need to cover your behind and led you astray on this point. I'm sure he meant only to prove his trust in you and reassure you that you were doing the job he wanted you to do; but at best he was obstinately naïf.

This is actually nothing to do with your brother's repulsiveness. The principle is that you had responsibilities, and you are now accountable for how you fulfilled them, and if you are called to account you will have to comply or potentially be in serious trouble.

Don't panic, but DO get advice. There will be other ways of putting together a full account of where your father's money went, but you need to go about it in a methodical way and demonstrate your willingness to co-operate. Whatever you do, don't confuse your family's shenanigans with the legal system's legitimate demands - your family are playing silly buggers but the courts are not. Be careful. Get your behind covered.

Believe it. Siblings can get very nasty.

What?!? Why would you subject your daughter to that hatefulness?

You should honor dads will and when your vile brother gets his inheritance he can find a new place to live.

I don't believe anyone is called to be in a situation that damages children.

You need to talk to an attorney. I don't think your brother even has a right to this information, but I could be wrong. And he is probably making this "accusation" up to begin with. that is why any accusation requires proof, and the fact that your dad trusted you right up until he passed IS proof, but it's on your side!! You are being generous in being willing to divide things equally, but what he said about your daughter and her grandpa not wanting to leave her anything because of her race is totally disgusting and disrespectful to your father and his relationship with his grandchild! I would personally try and make sure he didn't get one cent because of this. Yes it's vindictive, but some things really rattle my cage!!!