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Quickadvice Asked February 2019

My mom acts very cruel to me and has never been this bad. I used to think it's take whatever it is out on whoever is close. What do I do?

I don't believe my mother even cares my well being cause I am trying to help her get a new doctor and keep up with everything and I didn't realize since 2015 I haven't had one day to myself. What do I do?

Quickadvice Feb 2019
Hr symptoms are. Denial. Sister quit talking to her ....she has a thyrold problem. N high blood pressure amd had the blood clot In March 2015. She ran one therapist off.. she doesn't want to it's responsibility. It's driving me nuts.

JoAnn29 Feb 2019
You say age decline. If your 30 Mom can't be much older than 70.

If this is something new, she needs to see a doctor and have tests run. She could have had a mini stroke. Be lacking something or showing early signs of Dementia.

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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2019
Time flies by. 2015 is a long time without a day off! I understand completely. My mom has lived with me since 2005. When she first came to live with us I was still able to work at my part time job, raise my kids, spend time with hubby, going out to dinner or a movie, see friends and so forth. Gradually that all came to an end as she aged more and she depended on me more and more. Now she is never left alone and it’s hard so you have my sympathy.

What do you mean, “lost her doctor”? Did he retire? That has happened to mom before and it’s upsetting. They don’t like to switch doctors after they become used to their usual doctor. I understand that.

Reassure her that you will find someone suitable for her. Transitioning is tough and hopefully she will feel better once she is out of limbo.

I do think you are correct in saying people take things out on the person closest to them. Not sure exactly why that is but it does seem to be the case for many people.

I hope you get a break soon. Let us know how you are doing. Take care.

CantDance Feb 2019
Quickadvice,

Barb is spot on. More specifics to your mom's condition mean better answers from the community here.

For what it's worth, before her dementia diagnosis, my Mom acted very strangely for several years, lashing out, crazy phone calls, paranoia, demanding, cruel, insensitive, you-name-it. We as her family couldn't sort out what was going on. We didn't connect her losing things, repeating herself over and over, withdrawing socially, the cessation of cooking and doing the things that required planning with the other behaviors.

Mom had been neglecting going to the doctor and taking her meds consistently. We told her she needed a "check up." She agreed to go to "the doctor" who was a neurologist. He gave her the dementia diagnosis, which helped us take the necessary steps to get Mom the care she needed. At first she understood her diagnosis in a limited way. Now she doesn't think anything's wrong with her.

I'm not suggesting your Mom has dementia. But a thorough checkup might be a good start in solving the mystery of her conduct.

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2019
Um, Quick; How old is your mom? And what are her diagnosed impairments?

Answers to those questions will get you MUCH better answers from all of us.

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