Hiring care vs. Life Alert for short errands?

I hate to say it but to me it sounds like the agency is, on purpose or not, kind of "upselling" you on hiring them for more shifts thus giving them more money.

The reality is there is no perfect system, you have planned for various contingencies according to your best judgement, and there is only so much money.

I think I would give this agency info about the intricacies of your family's schedule and the finer points of your personal household arrangements only on a purely need to know basis. To be perfectly frank, they are the hired help.

I got my mom a life alert button. She managed to fall and was on the floor all day long until I came after work to visit and found her there. I asked her where her life alert button was and found it on her dresser. She didn't even remember what it was for. Thank God she wasn't hurt. Told me she had just laid down to take a nap (on the floor?) It was after that, that I moved her into assisted living. The buttons are only good if they wear them and remember how to use them.

Hi Kbuser,
My mother also had Parkinson’s Disease. Although I wasn’t her “caregiver,” I did provide some daily assistance to help her while my dad was away at work. I would go to spend my lunch break with her and bring my kids over after work until my dad got home in the evening. She had both a Life Alert and cell phone strapped on her at all times. I could see the potential of her falling. I encouraged my dad to get someone to come sit with her. All he would agree to was 3 days a week. Good enough. Better than nothing. On one afternoon that the sitter wasn’t there, while making her lunch, she fell in the kitchen and broke her hip. She used her life alert to contact emergency and my dad. Within six months, she was gone. Were there possibilities of her falling if the sitter was there? Yes and no. If the sitter was there, she would have had less chances of a fall because the sitter would have been there to ASSIST her with her needs. That fall was preventable every way I look at it. In my mom’s case, my mom was left for hours by herself. I wish that I had known the things that I know now. My dad never made the house safe for her walker, because he didn’t know any better.
I am now my dad’s caregiver. I have companion help while I’m at work. When my dad first came home from the hospital, they sent someone out to assess the house to ensure it was safe for him and his walker. My parents home has laminate floors with large area rugs and thick throw rugs everywhere, including the kitchen. It all had to go. Changes in the arrangement of furniture etc was recommended. I followed everything they suggested. My dad has had two falls in two years. Both times, I was there, but not in the room. No injuries. Preventable? No. The falls just happened. Was there anything he could knock his head on? No. It’s all been moved or removed.
There are times that I have errands to run as well. I sit him in his recliner with the remote, cell phone, Life Alert, water, and clear instructions not to move around. I also call him while I’m away. It provides reassurance in his case. I also have both of the neighbors phone numbers in case I have to call on help. The other alternative I have available is the two teenage girls that live down the street. They sit with him and chat, or play UNO, while I’m away. It’s a lot cheaper than the companions from the agency.
Okay, I’ve said much more than necessary. Just wanted to give you a well rounded view of my experience.
Take Care & Best wishes to you and your mom.

A couple thoughts,

I used to work for Podiatrist and most our patients were seniors. I would chat with the care givers that brought the frailer patients into the office. A common remark was that Mum or Uncle Jim and fallen and refused to push the button. We had this happen in our family too. Aunt Ruth fell when she got up during the night, her alert necklace was on the bedside table and she could not reach it. She was found 2 days later, still alive, but in kidney failure. She lived entirely alone (no dementia) until age 96.

Would your Mum push the button if she fell, or would she wait for you to come home? How do you have the Life Alert set up? Does it call directly to emergency services or do it call you first? How long would it take you to get home, then how long would it take for an ambulance to get there, if you could not get her up or if she was injured?

Even if your mother was in a nursing home, she would not be under the gaze or within arms reach of the staff 24/7. Even the caregivers who you pay to come watch Mum have to use the Loo, make meal and otherwise are not within arms reach at all times.

It is a fine balancing act and I do not see anything wrong with the system you have in place. You ensure there are people there when you have to be away for a long period of time and you have a safety device in place for when you just need to make a quick trip.

My aunt fell and sprained her knee. Not bad but still a fall and a bit of a recovery. She had a Medialert bracelet that she wasn’t wearing. After the fall the company upgraded her to a pendant that she wears around her neck tucked in her blouse. It is supposed to call automatically if she should fall. No need to press the button. I’m not 100% convinced that would actually happen but when she presses the button accidentally, they are there very soon. They call me to let me know and since I also have cameras, I can see that she is fine.
If a care provider tried to intimidate me I would let them go and find another agency. Your mom sounds fine. As others have said, anyone can fall at any time. You aren’t gone for days, just a couple of hours I imagine.
My mom was one who fell and wouldn’t use the button. She waited for my brother. She knew she wasn’t hurt and didn’t have any confidence that she could get the ambulance driver to listen to her and not take her to the local ER where we all believed real danger existed.

But my mom had neighbors who did need an ER and used theirs and got the help they needed.

Many seniors are home alone and not under the watchful eye of a daughter or a Medialert as it is their right to be. You are obviously doing a great job.

Hi KB, yes I am in a similar situation. I care for my motherinlaw who is 94 and has Parkinson’s. She has her mental faculties but has a lot of difficulty walking. She uses a walker in the house. We hired in-home care a couple of days a week for about 4 hours so that I can get out and get some stuff done, but that doesn’t cover everything that needs doing. So when I need to run out to the grocery store or drug store I give her the life-alert button and tell her to keep it on her while I’m gone. She often says, “don’t worry about me, I’ll stay right here” (in the chair or bed), but 9 times out of 10, when I get home she is not in the same place I left her. Thus the need for the life alert button. When we were first looking into help at home, a home care nurse said, What if there was a fire? Could she get out of the house by herself? The answer is, probably not, and I worry about that sometimes. So the button gives me peace of mind when I leave for an hour or so, and for the longer spells of 3-4 hours out, we have the agency caregivers. I wish you and I could share a cup of tea and swap stories. It’s nice to know someone else who’s in the same boat.💕

I don't see anything wrong with leaving her for short errands. You being home won't really prevent any falls. Nothing reasonable can prevent falls. It's whether she can be cared for after the fall. It's not like you will be leaving her on the floor for 10 hours. Many facilities don't check on people more than every couple of hours. I've been in ERs where the alarm goes off and no one comes by for a long time.

You can do technological things. Install cameras so you can check in every few minutes or constantly if your mobile data plan is big enough. Just glance at your phone every few minutes to check in on mom.

Instead of a life alert I would get an iwatch. It has fall detection and they are working on other things like heart conditions. So they will be able to detect problems even if there is no fall. The watch can contact you and/or emergency services. You decide. Apple is talking with health insurance companies to possibly issue them to the elderly. Since monitoring people this way is far cheaper to paying for a human sitter and you get better data. A gait detector can actually detect a fall before it happens. Which a human isn't really good at.

Is she cognitively impaired? Is she often up feeling agitated, prowling around and and doing something risky while you are out, or does she tend to wait patiently for your return? Personally I see nothing wrong with her being left on her own for short periods of time, I did it myself (with the full approval of our health care team) and never had any problems, but each situation is different. It is an unfortunate fact of life that falls can happen even when a caregiver is there so never leaving her on her own is no assurance of her safety, but is also a fact of life that a CNA or agency who want to make trouble can report you as neglecting her while you are out.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all and your helpful and comforting answers to my question! Thank you! I feel much better about the whole situation. I will definitely look into an Apple iwatch instead of life alert. A gait detector sounds amazing! I'm not sure mom would know to press the life alert button if she fell, but I'm never gone more than an hour. I will look into a different agency, this agency does seem to be trying to intimidate me. There are a ton of home care agencies nearby and all have the same rates. It's so comforting to hear your stories and experiences that are similar!

I love all the responses! It gives me a feel for what everyone's experiences are and makes me feel not so alone:-) my mom rarely gets up during the night, and my bedroom is next to hers so I would hear it and get up to help her if she did. I'm a light sleeper, too. Probably because the cat gets me up half a dozen times during the night. Mom does have some dementia, so whether she'd be aware to press life alert if she needed to, I'm not sure. I can try taking her with me on quick errands, she is relatively mobile that way. Might do her good to get out of the house. I do think the agency is up selling, and I realize they couldn't report anything because there is nothing to fort. She actually fell when a nurse from the agency was with her. Thanks again for all your input! I love all of you caregivers!