He cannot reason anymore because of his dementia progression. The Caregiver drove him to get a new license. He did, without a test or anything!!!! After that, the neurologist and the Primary care Doctor filled out forms indicating his inability to do so and I mailed everything as directed to DMV. I am still waiting to hear from the Motor Vehicle Department.
But he is holding onto the keys and he noticed that he does not have his Driver’s license in his wallet but only the picture ID which was given to him after he failed the Driver’s assessment test.
For extra safety I have removed the battery from his keyless car started.
He is mad and demanding which is an unusual behavior of his. He is not accepting that he is not able to drive anymore. He is now demanding that I drive him to the DMV to get a new one. Would they have anything on record? I can’t believe they made the mistake in the first place!! (In NJ if did not have an accident in three years, they reinstated) Unbelievable!!
I am very sad for this situation and I do not know what to do next.
Any suggestions?? Thank you in advance!
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He still has a driver's license, as well. But, especially in the first year, it was so difficult for him to remember that, for him, driving was now A Bad Thing. And even now, he'll sometimes want to try. He's got it way too much together for disabling our car to work. At one point, I thought we might *both* have to give up our car, and driving at all, for the sake of public safety (even though I'm a good driver). No car, no temptation!
We finally got him evaluated. When the matter comes up, I remind him that he was evaluated by a local driver's rehab connected to one of our major hospitals -- and was found to be unsafe. (He does remember this.)
Then, I tell him that *I* do not feel qualified to assess or retrain him, which is true. BUT, if he wants to be re-assessed, let's arrange it!
So far, he has not taken me up on that. (I also have an FIL saga, but that's a different ballgame, and at least he's off the road now.)
Sorry, I digress.
Sadly, I totally believe the DMV may have messed up in your case. In California, the process can take months, and they lean towards letting *everybody* drive.
More important ... you report new behaviors, including anger. It may be time to review his meds, and perhaps add something to aid his emotional control, or re-balance the meds he's already taking.
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Does he actually have a license, or just an ID card?
A friend of mine in a similar situation asked everyone who would listen to petition the DMV to get her mom off the road. This was a small town so everyone knew her mom should not be driving. Finally succeeded.
He has a driver’s license. I have POA and some days I wish to get rid of the car, but he is “ holding “ on to it like a hawk, saying that he will drive when he gets better...
We Caregivers are living on a totally different planet 🌏 as we deal
with the serious challenges of dementia!
I will try that. Hopefully he will forget until next time...