My mother (99) refuses to bathe. She agreed to me helping her bathe in our walk-in shower once a week but now refuses to bathe at all.

It's really a tough thing. My LO also had an issue with it. The staff in her MC handled it fine. I'm not sure why they knew how to handle it. Some of the things that I have read around here include, getting the doctor to prescribe it, so she feels she must bathe, hire a bath aid Sometimes, a professional who works with dementia patients has better luck. Plus, the dementia patient often complies more with a non-family member. They can make sure the bathroom is warm, maybe play soothing music.

Before my LO went into AL, I insisted that she bathe before we left the house. She would always say that she had already bathed, but, it was not true, so, I would just run the sink with warm water, lather the wash clothe and hand it to her, all the while talking about good times and our plans for later that day. I I just wouldn't let her refuse. But, that might not work with everyone. I never did get her in the shower, though. She declined and had to go to AL.

Like gladimhere says, this is very common with dementia. Some can also develop a fear of water.

The wipes are good. Nuke them just a bit to get the chill off or she will fight you on that too.

Can you wash her hair in the sink?

Many with dementia will not shower, it is not at all uncommon. They get very cold and the water striking their bodies often frightens and even hurts them. Maybe a bath instead or buy the bathing wipes. Something is better than nothing.