Are there any other caregivers out there who are lonely after...?

I care for my 93 year old mom with Parkinson’s disease and I get extremely lonely. I can’t leave her because she falls. She isn’t able to do much for herself anymore so I handle everything for her. I’ve lost myself. I am looking into assisted living facilities for her. I have two brothers who do not help. Thank God I have a wonderful husband that helps some in the evening and weekends. I miss time alone with hubby.

Yes, lonely and frustrating. We love those we care for but we have needs as well.

It is a lonely journey. Build your support group, like this website, a friend who understands, an exercise group, church group, counselor, family members, animal friends, other caregivers. Find joy and release in something. Keep yourself active and social. Life has changed, and it’s not easy. I’m going through it, too.

No stroke here but do have aphasia. She seldom utters a word I can understand. Will not answer questions. Will echo some sentences or words.
I just talk and hope it gets thru. Or I will just walk away.

Mum got to be very lonely when Step-dad developed Dementia. She described him as childlike. He no longer had any initiative and although he could participate in a conversation it was at a much lower level than before, or he would say inappropriate things. Luckily Mum has an incredibly active social life and she kept up with that.

Since Step-Dad died in November, she is lonely in the evenings. At 84 she had never lived alone and now she does not even have him sitting quietly watching TV with her.

Can you leave him and go out with friends? Did you have an active independent social life before his stroke? Can you develop one now? Volunteering, attending church, an exercise class, lunch or coffee with a friend seeing grandchildren if you have them?

If you cannot leave him, then invite your social community into your home. Have a friend come over for coffee, or to watch a show. Mum has for years gone to a friend's place to watch a TV show one night a week. The friend cannot get out easily, so every Thursday Mum goes there.

It has been hard on Mum to lose Step-Dad, but having always had an active social life that did not always involve him has made the transition easier. Please reach out and get out to be with people.