I live with my mother, who has advancing dementia and the most unreal, surreal, completely out of nowhere delusions and hallucinations. I could never in my wildest dreams have imagined the things she comes up with. And they are all horrible. My sister and I are building some kind of torture structure in the backyard to kill her in terrible ways. There are people in the house who are going to kill her. My sister puts things in her ears at night so she can't hear. Etc.
In answer to similar questions about how to handle this, many posters have offered suggestions like check for UTI, get her on medication, redirect her and so on. None of these things work. Believe me, I've tried them all. (She is on Seroquel, which probably helps to a degree; who knows how bad it would be without it?) It also doesn't work to try to tell her these things aren't happening to her. I know this, but sometimes I can't stop myself and I lose my patience way too often. At the suggestion of another poster, I'm carrying a worry stone, in my case a small glass heart. Holding onto it for dear life gives me a moment to take a breath and calm myself down when things go completely off the rails.
I would love to hear from anyone who is dealing with a combative, impossible to redirect LO who is having hallucinations and delusions that go so far beyond the garden variety "somebody stole my purse" that they might as well be from Planet Xenon. In the meantime, I am carrying my worry stone with me at all times.
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So as far as anyone going through what you are, the answer is yes. People say one day at a time but living with a person with dementia is like one day running into the next. Always stay on your toes just waiting for the next disaster.
Good luck with your journey. When it’s over you can breathe again.
In any case, we are going to look into a geriatric psychiatrist for her... hoping that there may be some medication that migh alieviate some of her anxiety. Have you guys consulted a specialist like this, or a neurologist? They can try a variety of things pharmacologically that could make continuing to care for your mom at home more workable. We are hoping for a similar outcome over here at our ‘happy’ house.
Good luck, and God bless ~
Andy
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Second...don't tell her she is not seeing what she is seeing. Tell her she is seeing past the "veil" and what she sees cannot touch her. This gave my mom some peace.
Third...tell her to think of them as a bad or scary movie! Moma never bought that but she was sometimes entertained by them.
Fourth...don't always assume she is hallucinating. People do bad things to people who cannot protect themselves.
Lastly...I spoke with a doctor who worked with Charles Bonnet patients for 30 years. He astonished me by stating that no matter what the education level, job type, financial situation all of his patients had the SAME bizarre hallucinations about things they had never had an exposure to, experience with, or probably even read about. Hence why we started telling her she was seeing past the "veil". True...I don't know, but I do know it was the only thing that gave her any peace. Heartbreaking for sure! My prayers are with you!! Hope this helps a bit! Jean
That went on for over a year. Finally got her on Trazadone at night and helped immensely. She was still very paranoid but not as bad. Also added Seroquel in am. That stage seemed like would never end. She was diagnosed 5 years ago. The paranoia lessened about a year and 1/2 ago. It is nowhere near what it used to be. Still sometimes she thinks her food is poisoned but much better than before. Hoping your Mom will pass out of this stage sooner than later. It will pass; many hugs in this difficult time.
How many people live in her house? Maybe part of the problem. Too much stimulant.
You with her accusing you and your sister of the torture device have it a little harder. I would suggest you tell her that you guys are going to take it down and burn the wood. Then if you are able to have a small bonfire and toast marshmallows with her. Make a better memory for her. This may or may not work, it usually did for my father until the next time something came up. The key is to remain calm and speak to her softly and gently, listen to her fear and make up a lie that will reassure her that you will take care of it.
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