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anonymous570199 Asked February 2019

My mom and brothers are keeping me from seeing and speaking with my dad who has Alzheimer’s. What can I do?

I had DPOA, which my brothers revoked. They have convinced my mom that I am in a “bipolar state”, which is untrue and unfair. My dad had always taken care of everything but now there’s a huge imbalance in the family due to his illness. Up until a month ago I saw my parents 2-5 times a week, driving them to doctors appointments, spending time and taking my dad out to give mom a break. There was a family blowout and my brothers who previously didn’t get along, are now united in revoking the POA and taking my name off of bank accounts etc. it’s very complicated, I’m stepping back. My mom said she’d contact me when she’s ready. When I have called before she refused to let me speak to him. My dad and I have always shared a bond none of my brothers or mom have had. I miss my dad and hope the stress/drama hasn’t effected him to the point where he won’t remember me.

JoAnn29 Feb 2019
Your brothers cannot have your POA revoked. Only your father can do that and reassign. I doubt if they can take your name off of accounts either. If you need to talk to Dad, ask APS if they can do a well visit. Your Dad has rights and family is keeping you away from him.
Jada824 May 2019
But they can coerce Dad into revoking it, I know because it happened to me.
Ahmijoy Feb 2019
Your best bet may be to contact an attorney. If your brothers coerced your parents to give them Power of Attorney, that’s illegal. If they are appropriating money for their own use, thats also illegal. If you suspect abuse, find the number for your state’s elder abuse hotline and call them.

Do you have any idea at all what caused this change? It seems rather odd to me that this all came down out of the blue.
anonymous570199 Feb 2019
Thanks for your reply. It’s a long story and complicated. Essentially it boils down to sibling rivalry and years of little or hurtful communication. I sense my brothers don’t trust my motives (why did she move back after 30 years?) and even though my dad’s brother died last week from the same illness they are in denial. So when mom and I had a fight on the phone one month ago, my brothers swooped in. You’re right it sounds odd and there’s much more going on with family dynamics than I could possibly share. Thanks again.

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