Mom can’t afford her house after Dad passed away. What should we do?

Oh JoAnn, what an insane situation you're stuck in with the Medicaid threshold, I'm so sorry. How frustrating, and what a stupid waste of a potential home for somebody. Are you making a fuss about this to anyone?

What's the problem with the life insurance policy? Why is the insurer querying the claim? I'm just trying to get a feel for whether there is a realistic prospect of payment or not - if the insurers are just dragging their feet, maybe there is; if the policy was taken out after your father's diagnosis and there was a failure to disclose, or if there was a minimum cover term, then probably not. But you do need to get some idea, because this sum of money could be useful in negotiations either way - whether you're fending off creditors on the one hand or helping your mother to apply for additional benefits on the other.

I'm afraid I have rather a lot of questions, but first of all I'm very sorry for your loss. It is a very recent loss, and melanoma is a very mean disease. How are you doing?

Is there anybody near your mother providing her with practical and/or emotional support? It's eight weeks, only, after what must have been a terrible experience, and now all this incredibly stressful admin. I feel for all of you.

Has she appointed a Durable POA and Healthcare POA? If so, they may want to go and stay with her to see what her needs are. She may not be reporting everything accurately, through no fault of her own.

If she's incontinent, can't pay bills, lying, etc. I'd make arrangements for you or another family member to go and stay with her for a couple of days. That enables you to know just how competent she is to live alone and run her her own household. I'd actually view the financial records to see what the truth is. She could be confused about it. Has anyone talked to her doctor about her health? If she's not able to live alone, without assistance, moving her to another place where she's alone, might not solve the problem. Depending on what you find out, I'd get consult with Elder Law attorney and a financial expert to see what her options are for these debts and long term care.

Really, you can't sell the house for a quick sale if you think Medicaid will be needed in the next 5 years. It will have to sell at Market value. If you think you can get her past 5 yrs, then sell it for what you can.

Why is Dads insurance being held up? You may have to get a lawyer involved. Call Office of Aging to get a number for Legal Aid. Yes, check to make sure she applied for Dad's SS. This is the short version, if Dad was bringing in 1500 and Mom 750, her 750 will drop and she will get his 1500.

Like isthisreallyreal said, there maybe HUDD apts near you. They take 1/3 of Moms income for rent. She would be responsible for electric and TV.

I am assuming Mom is on Medicare. Does she have a supplimental. If she is considered low income she maybe able to get Medicaid. If she can, there are other things available when you have it. You may need Homecare, they provide it. I also suggest you get Mom to a doctor for an evaluation. She could have Dementia or depressed after Dads death. Things maybe too overwhelming. Hope you have POAs.

I would find a senior apartment building that charges based on income.

Get that house on the market at a price it will sell quickly, hopefully leaving mom a little money.

Check into her getting a portion of your dad's social security.

Find all the food pantries close and start using them. Check out if she qualifies for meals on wheels or food stamps (SNAP)

Have a yard sale to create some instant cash and dispose of excess furnishings that will not fit in her new place.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope that you get mom situationed quickly.