I moved to FL from PA about 6 months before my mom was placed in the nursing home. My siblings are in PA and go to visit our mom weekly. I call when they are visiting so I can talk to my mom. I am struggling with what to talk about. She doesn’t remember that I moved, how old I am, that I have a husband and grown children ... she has trouble even forming a complete sentence but I love to hear her voice. What can I talk to her about?
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I stopped trying to get her to remember the things she no longer did but encouraged her to talk about whatever she wanted.
Good luck
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You meet a neighbor on the street - what do you talk about? Same thing here. Anything and everything is appropriate until Mom gets too tired to stay on the phone.
My DH's last 6 months were very difficult for him. He got a bout of pneumonia and it took much of his memory. So when his son called, I could tell from our end that Ray said the same things every week. So what? They were still talking.
One of the things Bob asked was, "what have you eaten today?" Did you go outside, did you walk, did you see anything on TV that you liked/hated - just anything that pops into your head will do. What are you wearing, did you get a walk today, have you been outside - mention your siblings, have you seen "so & so" lately. Is there anything you could send to her that she wants? You just talk until she is tired and wants off the phone.
If it helps, pretend you are talking to a small child and do the same kind of conversation.
Bless you for wanting to speak with her! DH's other 2 children couldn't be bothered even trying.
Ask the facility to give you an update on what your moms been up to and then ask them for a schedule of upcoming activities before calling your mom. You can then talk to her about what she’s been doing based on the facility report and also talk about all of the upcoming events.
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