My 89 year old mother fell and broke her hip last week. She has early onset dementia which is worsening at SNF. Dad is 90 and both expect her to return home after completion of rehab. Prior to her fall she had compression fractures in her back and PMR (polymyagia rheumatica). She has severe osteoporosis and is on a low dose of prednisone and pain meds and has high blood pressure. She was considered to be a high fall risk....which will only be worse once she gets home. She used a walker and has a commode in her bedroom. Pain management has been an issue for the past 6 months. I have no objection to her returning home, but I think the level of care she will need will be overwhelming and my dad certainly can’t be the caregiver. Up to this point we ( siblings...sister, brother not so much) have been doing as much as we can to help, but we have families, grandchildren to help care for etc....I can’t see us in a position to do more than we are. I would love to see them move to AL, but mom is stubborn and has refused to even consider the option. The house itself is a burden and not nearly as safe as AL would be. I guess I’m asking if anyone else could share their experiences with the very elderly coming home after hip fractures.....I am well aware of the complications and prognosis. Thank you!
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PS: Between mom’s two surgery’s I still had preteens/teens at home, and was beginning to be neglective of them while trying to do so much stuff for her. I had to back off helping her then dealt with her pleading with me to come do her laundry, take her places, etc. (I was still taking her meals & to Dr. appointments) Once she realized I wouldn’t back down & do more she brought in help for about 12 hours a week, but at that point she had greatly physically deteriorated.
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Your question is whether anyone has experience with an elder who has broken their hip coming home after rehab.
I have but they were both men and didn’t have osteoporosis. They did fine. They both had wives in worse shape than they were. One was my FIL and the other an uncle. 87 & early 90s. They had a full recovery and no additional help after rehab.
However, my aunts neighbor lady had osteoporosis. Her hip broke, she was in hospital and then rehab. She then came home. Her daughter and SIL came from out of town to care for her. She was in terrible pain. She got better but one day a few weeks later she was standing at her Frig and with just a simple move her body seem to crumble. Back to the hospital and then a move to her daughters city to go into a SNF. She never recovered.
That would be my concern for your mom. The osteoporosis, not the broken hip.
Have her assessed for the appropriate level of care as soon as possible to help guide your decision.
Just to be fussy about terminology, she doesn't have "early onset" (which would mean that she was younger than 65 yo; she is in the early stages of dementia, meaning that she can no longer live alone and needs some, but not total, support. Terminology matters.
If mom is currently in hospital, you have access to discharge planning; a very good thing. THEY can tell the family what is needed in terms of care for mom, going forward. If they are recommending rehab, you need to point out to them that it's only elderly dad caring for mom at home. You need to be completely transparent with them about your parents' finances. You need to be firm in some cases about the fact that the siblings are NOT available to provide home care.
Start there, with assessing what mom's needs are going forward and what the financial resources are. Have mom and dad been to an eldercare attorney to do POA, etc?