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D
demstress Asked March 2019

How can I show the caregivers how much I appreciate all they do?

My parents passed away recently (father in December and mother just a few days ago). I had caregivers, volunteers, and health care professionals come to the house for almost two years. They were loving, kind, and caring to my parents. I would like to thank them in some way. I miss them. The house is so empty without my parents and these loving people. They were part of my family. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


Also I would like to thank all of you on this forum. You have helped me tremendously with my many questions. I encountered so many issues with my parents and only you, dear members, have answered my questions. Thank you all for helping me cope. I am forever grateful.

NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
So sorry for the loss of your parents.

I gave the hospice workers for my brother a bouquet of flowers and a restaurant gift certificate. I wrote a special letter to the nurses, chaplain and office staff.

I think they would appreciate anything. I happened to hear the nurses talking about a restaurant in the same area as the end of life hospice facility that they liked so I went with that.

Isthisrealyreal Mar 2019
A heart felt thank you card with a lovely homemade goody, from dry cookie ingredients in a canning jar to homemade fudge or toffee, maybe cookies or popcorn balls.

For me, nothing says thank you like anything homemade, it gives a piece of you to the recipients and says I invested all I am into fixing this special gift for you because you are so special to me and it was the least I could do to show you my appreciation.

Maybe you can make some homemade jelly or applebutter and fix some homemade rolls or biscuits and do baskets. Maybe several different flavors, peach/mandarin orange or apricot/pineapple, do a strawberry, blueberry, blackberry and then a mixed berry. Throw in a nice hand cream and you have a lovely gift that shows how very much you appreciate the recipients.

I am very sorry for the loss of your parents, they were very blessed to have you.

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Grandma1954 Mar 2019
Write a note of thanks to each one of them. Tell them how much they meant to you and how much you appreciated the help and support they gave you
If they are employed by an agency write a note or letter to their supervisor and tell them how much this person helped you. This will go into the employee file.
The volunteers, if they were with an organization write a letter to the organization and tell them how much you appreciated the help they gave. (If this was a not for profit group they can use all the help they can get when it comes to donations and letters help)
If you had people, professional coming in from something like a Hospice or something like that many are not permitted to accept gifts or cash above a particular dollar amount, usually $25.00. So please check if you want to give gift cards.
"Professionals" may be reluctant to gather for a lunch or dinner as it crosses, or may appear to cross boundaries.
A box of candy brought to the office, donuts, cookies are always welcome as they can be shared with the whole group. Many will have meetings on particular day of the week when the group can discuss the patients, if you know the day of the week and time arrange a donuts and coffee or a pizza delivery, or sandwich delivery.
I think just knowing that you think highly of them and what they did for you and your parents is enough for many. I am sure most do not get kind letters and notes.
If your parents were with Hospice you may get a letter or survey asking how the experience was, please fill that out as that is important way to track satisfaction. (I volunteer for the Hospice that helped me with my Husband and when it is right for you, when you have time you could also become a volunteer for the groups that provided volunteers to you. You do not have to have contact with patients there are plenty of office things to do. I love the volunteer work I do it is a way for me to give back)

Oh, and I agree with the quite that now is in the house. It took me a while to get used to it. I even plugged my Husbands bed in again the first night as it was so quiet, I wanted to heat the hum and "breathing" of the air mattress.
MaryBee Mar 2019
I used to work for an agency and it always meant so much to receive a personal note thanking you by name. And you’re right, such notes do go in the employees file (if sent to the agency). Personal notes and handmade thank you gifts are the best. Good advice!
JoAnn29 Mar 2019
So sorry for your loss.

I like the luncheon idea. I think the bonus of money would be nice. Even a loaded credit card.

rocketjcat Mar 2019
So sorry for the recent loss of 1st your Dad and now your Mom. With them gone and the normal hubbub or caregivers coming and going, I imagine it is pretty quiet and will take some getting used to. What a blessing to be able to look bad with kindness and appreciation for the people you liked and depended on. If you have the addresses of the “special” ones you’d like to thank, and if you’re thinking about something instead of or in addition to a monetary gift, I wonder if a special momento of your parents would be meaningful? When my Mom moved to the NH and we no longer needed her wonderful caregiver, I gave her Moms quartz stone heart that she used to keep in her car for good luck, with a little note. You’d have thought I gave her the moon, and she keeps it in her car now too. Of course I paid her a few weeks pay as well. Maybe if you just take some time and walk through the house and their “things” you’ll find some inspiration for such a gift. A special book, or cookbook, maybe a beautiful piece of jewelry (costume is ok), maybe just a nice picture of your parents with a note? Something that they may have commented on? Hopefully you’ll be able to match up something to the right person that should have it. You don’t need to do it all right away...take your time and think about it.

Sunnygirl1 Mar 2019
I'm sorry for the loss of both your parents. That's a lot to handle and I'm so glad you had the support of so many good people, as you describe them. I suppose you may have to consider if the professional providers have any kind of policy regarding monetary gifts. That would be good to know. If so, a nice, heartfelt letter, expressing your gratitude might be nice and appreciated by them. Perhaps, you can make a donation to charity in their names.

You also might ask them if they need any volunteers, so that you could chip in with some time, if you are able. That way, you get to see them too, as well as help someone who is in a situation similar to yours.

If funds are not an issue, perhaps a luncheon at a local place or your home where everyone could meet, have lunch and talk about your parents a bit. Maybe some of them who couldn't make the funeral/service of you parents, could make it for the luncheon.

Also, at my LO's MC, someone made the staff personalized t-shirts that have some nice saying on it, like, Helping Others Is Cool, or something like that.

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