The paranoia is getting so bad they think I’m taking & hiding things such as their TV remote control, ice cream scooper, set of keys, etc and they are starting to think I’m just here for inheritance. My mother is the one that’s misplacing the items but she won’t admit it. They are both severely delusional, they both hallucinate and they are super paranoid, with all of these they just continue to get worse.
I’ve put my own life aside and I’ve been here for 7 years. I drive them to Dr appts, make meals, clean, laundry, taking care of my own dog plus theirs, etc and now that they are getting so bad to the point where they absolutely cannot take care of themselves and need me or someone (dad refuses anyone he doesn’t know to come inside the home) they want me to move out. They need to sell their home because they have two sets of stairs with the longest, worst one being the one they have to use to get from their bedroom down to the front door, kitchen & dining area. My father has fallen down them twice. I just keep praying my mother doesn’t take a tumble, she’s come very close a few times now. It scares me because of her osteoporosis and her being so frail and off balance. I’ve been here for many accidents and the ones that are really bad my dad goes into shock instead of calling 911. My mother would not be here if it weren’t for me being here during two different falls and me knowing the need to call 911. I’m just at my wits end and don’t know what to do, I’m so burnt out but yet I’m so afraid to leave them here alone. Does anyone have any suggestions for me?
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Redirect -- If you get accused of taking things try telling them "oh I move it and I will get it in a minute. They want you to move out tell them "I'm packing up but haven't found a place yet".
Take the knobs off the stove. Make sure the water heater is set so the water doesn't get too hot when running the hot water. Knives should be put away in a locked cupboard along with tools. Get a security camera inside the house so when you are gone you can keep an eye on them (Ring is good cuz it records sound).
I know dogs are part of the family but they require work can they be relocated to a friends house temporarily until mom and dad are moved?
blessings
hgnhgn
Definatley call adult protective services, I wish I'd have reached out to them before they reached out to us (due to my brother stealing money) but turns out they are SUPER helpful, but ya gotta ask them for help and they understand believe me I was actually shocked how much they were concerned about my health caring for my mom.
Icannot believe there's 2 stairways, ya APS should come and check out the hazards there at the house.
I gave up my.life too, I feel for you. I feel so isolated and an unproductive member of society. I miss my own place, car, job, social life. I guess just know you're not alone. You can msg me anytime if u want to vent
Good luck xxx
Call Elder Services, an elder attorney and their doctor.
Perhaps the doctor can write a letter saying "unfit" without seeing them.
They are losing it, it's not about you...tough love is required, stand strong, and KNOW you are doing what's best for them, even though they don't get it!
My parents ended up in hospital and then rehab which really helped me execute moving them out of their house.
May it all go smooth for you. Let us know how it goes...
God-speed!
God bless!
Maybe its a good idea to move them to the first floor?
DO NOT focus on what they did to you,. This will hold you back in life. Focus your attention on the issues at hand. In the end, when they are no longer here and you reflect on the time spent with them, there will be no regrets.
Just agree with everything they say and change the subject to something more pleasing...
I know it is not an easy task for you. It also was not an easy task for our parents taking care of us when we were children.
My father passed when I was Nine. Today, I wish I could have had more time with him. Your parents [regardless of how much of a burden some find them to be] are our earthly Gods and we MUST do everything we can for them. In the end, you will be blessed in abundance... Money cannot buy the best of health, joy, laughter, happiness and a heart which overflows with contentment.
All the best.
If we approach anything we do in life as a burden. A BURDEN it will become.
It will get better.