My husband and I are childless, with four nieces. We want to find a way to make sure our nieces are not burdened with care decisions as we age, since they have parents of their own to worry about. Does anyone have experience with handling this situation? We do not have long term care insurance, as it is not affordable for us. We do own our home, and would sell it if need be. Is a guardianship the answer? My sister and I care for our mother, who is in long term care, but our mother was left well-off when my father died. I am anxious to try to set our will and future plans in order, since we are in our 60's. We have a will, but it is out of date.
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We have a legal firm (a certified elder law attorney, you can find one at www.nelf.org.) that is a licensed fiduciary, we have put all of our wishes in writing and named each other as POAs and the legal firm as back up, in the event we both catch the bus at the same time. We have the legal firm as a springing POA with specific requirements that will need to be fulfilled to spring. We also have a Living Trust to protect us in the event that one passes and the other becomes incompetent.
The most loving thing anyone can do for their loved ones is to put it in writing and get it in order. I think parents should do this so their children aren't faced with having to be caregivers and decision makers when facing a crisis with their parents. It is hard to do, you have to face your own mortality. We set this up 20 years ago and recently updated it, I was troubled looking at what we need to do to make sure our wishes are followed and no one is put in a rotten situation. So, be prepared for some mixed emotions.
Have questions ready and written down, your personal situation, ie assets, desires for your money, if any left, and those types of things when you meet with the CELA, this will make the consult productive and help you decide if they are the firm for you. I do recommend a larger firm that has been in business for a while, you want to know 10, 20, 30 years from now that you will actually have your representation still around.
I would not see an attorney that wants to charge you for a consultation, you will be the client and you are deciding if you mesh with this person and firm, they should be willing to give you that time to decide if it is a good fit, for me that said they were to hungry and would nickel and dime us to death, those ones got struck off the list. We met with a half dozen or so attorneys before making a decision. You will get a lot of information from these consults, we updated our questions after each meeting because stuff was brought up that we didn't think of, as well as our original questions and how each one dealt with those helped us make our decision. Spend the time and you won't be disappointed.
My husband and I are also in our 60's, very active, and are thinking through this issue and planning. I think it is terrible for people to leave a cluttered house for relatives to clean up and sell off. Thoughtless if there is not a significant value, or if it is not an estate with perpetual care.
So true. You are very thoughtful to think ahead.
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We should all plan exactly as she did. What a gift to give to your loved ones.
I am cheering for paternal grandma and the tremendous love and respect she showed her family.
I am childless and single and I have already arranged for my own burial and have appointed a DPOA and a health POA as well as made out my will and have an executor for my estate. My lawyer will help my executor with any problems. In my will I have asked to have all my property put into an estate sale to liquefy every thing so whats left can be dispersed as my will says. In the mean time I am getting rid of all the junk I have saved over the past 85 years so whats left will only be the bare necessities and anything that one of my heirs might want like family photos etc. I have also got NH insurance just in case, I hope I have thought of everything but of course no one can so I did the best I could.
Try to make a plan for each turn life could take over the next 20-30 years and get advice from a elder lawyer.
My beautiful God Mother never married and has made independent choices all her life. She is in assisted living and is planning her death by Medical Assisted Death in a few months.
I think finding the right attorney is truly the most difficult part.
Let us know how it goes.