Mom is in a nursing home. I am her legal guardian. Is it legal for the nursing home administrator to discuss financial arrangements with family?

Thank you all for your comments.

My sister found out the NH bill was in arrears because I told her. I told her because my mom will need her equity from dissolution of her shares in the cooperative community (sister lives there, too) where she lived. My mother signed a paper three years ago stating "upon my death my shares shall be sold and the net worth transferred ...) to said sister and a brother. Well, sibs still want the shares (about 7K or less), even though mom is not dead. Sister said that document doesn't mean anything because my mom now has dementia. At the time of signing, she was claiming my mom had Alzheimer's. Mom has vascular dementia and it was never determined what type of dementia she had. This is the mentality I am dealing with. An ongoing battle.

The reason there's an outstanding balance is because I paid mom's BC/BS and copays while Medicaid was pending. About six months. Filed in Nov '18, notified in March '19 -- retroactive to Nov. The nursing home demanded that I come up with $5k in a matter of three weeks. "What did you spend that money on?!!" they said. Told them that 1) her money was not misappropriated, and 2) that's between me and the State of Michigan.

So the NH threatened to report me to the Attorney General. (?) Go ahead, I said. They ended up reporting me to Adult Protective Services. APS went to interview my mom at the NH. Mom said -- Nope. Not answering any questions. They called me. I told them my story (including the co-op share issue). I have all and any receipts and have agreed to make payments to the NH arrears. The APS rep said -- good job! Haven't heard anything since -- about a week now.

Now it's a battle with the cooperative corporation, being uncooperative with dissolving mom's shares and returning what equity is left. I'll post about that in a different section because -- WOW! I really need help with that! No money for elder attorney. Cooperative shares is a gray area, I've been told by an elder attorney...

It's a stressful time, and it's easy for someone to get the wrong idea if they have only some of the information. Sort out the interpersonals if you can. It's so much better if everyone is on the same side at this point.

No, he should have not talked to sister. You are the guardian and he should only be talking to you. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Does he have paperwork showing you are guardian? Just go to his office and ask that he not talk to anyone concerning Moms finances but you. You r guardian for a reason. You may want to tell sister that you are responsible to the state to show a yearly accounting of how Moms money is spent. So you won't be able to "steal" any. Also, that Medicaid does a 5 yr look back. Any money not spent for her will be questioned.

How did your sister find out that a balance was owed?  Did she get a bill from the nursing home?  If she got a bill, then you need to talk with the nursing home billing office (and maybe talk to the social service director and the administrator) and inform them that ALL bills and financial correspondence must be sent only to you since you are the legal guardian; AND that if your sister calls to discuss any financial matters, they are to inform her to contact you for any information.

Offer to meet with your sister and discuss her concerns regarding your Mom's money and what legal steps you have to take in order to qualify your Mom for Medicaid and explain why there is an amount due at the nursing home.  Sometimes relatives react emotionally when they feel that they are not being consulted or are not being keep up to date on certain details.

It may not be illegal as such, but it certainly is unethical. I would absolutely go to the facility “home office” and tell them what their administrator is doing. Since you are her LG, the payment will come from you and any communication about it should be with you. I would, however, show your sister receipts for what you have spent. When she sees you’re not spending it on mani/pedi’s and new clothes for yourself, it will take the air out of her tires for sure.