Hubby was diagnosed with EOA. Basically dementia, probable Alzheimer's. It's been 14 months and hubby is only showing few signs of progression... He says he doesn't think he has it. He was showing signs about 2 yrs. earlier. He just turned 66 and tells everyone he will have full use of his mind til he's 80. He's still able to work and drive. He does have a few 'blips' in his thinking . He's on no medication. I'm trying to deal with this and plan for his future, there's days that he can convince me that the doctors were wrong. He had all the testing done. Ct scan, MRI, mini cog test, neuro-psych evaluation. That's the conclusion that they came up with. Help!!!! I know the disease progresses at different rates for everyone, but some days I think maybe he doesn't have it. I think it would be easier for me to go on and plan our future and act like nothing is wrong...Just want to know if anyone else has had doubts....
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
One of the things that she would do was get lost driving. One day she showed up at our house, but had no idea why she was there. She had to stop working soon after as she was getting lost in other ways too.
Filing forms in the wrong folders (she was a government employee), showing up to meetings on the wrong day or time.
I think I would have to agree with your daughter, and I do not blame you. No one would wish a diagnosis of dementia on anyone.
Please make sure you have POA in place (Medical and financial), Advanced Directives and updated Wills.
Have a discussion now wiht your daughter and any other kids you may have about moving forward, funding care, Medicaid look back and more.
Can you manage the house on your own? Is you home conducive to care giving? Stairs accessible toilets and showers, main floor bedroom?
None of us truly know how long we will be here or what we will die of.
So prepare your legal documents and make plans as if he does have It. Do all the advance planning.
Read Atul Gawande’s book “Being Mortal”.
My MIL was always a dingy, I Love Lucy, type. When she was diagnosed I found it hard to believe. She did have symptoms of dementia, short term memory loss etc.
She died of cancer before the dementia progressed very far. She was 84.
ADVERTISEMENT
My mother's doctor told me she would develop Alzheimer's ( she is 88 ) but I really am only seeing signs of aging. I prefer to think of it this way since she really is not exhibiting behavior that is often described on this site. I do recommend the medication.
However, from the experience of my step dad, it can be very easy to overlook the ways a person masks their symptoms. When your hubby has a 'blip' what is happening? What is it about?
My step dad appeared ok, he was driving around town, but came up with excuses for Mum to drive when they had to go out of town. He was an accountant, yet, could no longer balance the books. He was throwing out bank statements, or filing them in the wrong place. All these actions were 'hidden' but a sign of the toll the dementia was taking on him.
He lost the ability to keep up with conversations about current events. They used to read the paper each morning over breakfast. And throughout the day discuss what they had read, but he was no longer able to have those discussions.
When he died, Mum found bottles of wine in strange places. He was not drinking it, no issues of alcohol abuse. They always had one small glass of wine with dinner (2-3oz). Apparently he was buying two bottles of wine, putting one in the kitchen and the other in his dresser (3 bottles), closet (2 bottles) etc. He had lost the ability to think of where to put away the second bottle.
Step Dad died of cancer before his dementia progressed too far. He resigned from his last accounting job in September and died in November.
Please plan for your future. Keep visiting this site, gather information and think about your long term personal plans as well as how to manage his care down the road.